Baby Steps

It's 2012 and it's been so so long since I've blogged. Not sure if anyone will ever read this or agree with me that they have felt this way but right now I shouldn't be complaining but these past few days I've been out of sync.

Well I know, I'm supposingly "so young", 23 going on 24, but already I am so so tired/bored of life, it's crazy. Maybe I need a break. I so so long to go on getaways to a serene place without cellphone, just me and nature, doesn't matter if I'm alone. Why? Cos life just generally seemed boring, same thing day in and out, alikened to a routine and I'm itching to get away. Few years ago I'm probably very comfortably happy with my routine life but well, not now.

My life had taken a turn and though I'm not used to it yet, I'm honestly happy, relieved bcos its not so crazy/stressful anymore. The change is probably for the best and I'm lucky to get that off my back. But I feel out of sync because I think generally, it boils down to the fact that I've not attained to that level where I have a peace of heart/mind.

But I want to.. Cos I only have one life and it sucks to feel sucky. Watching Machine Gun Preacher today woke me up though (it's not fantastic but it reminded me of what's important, why am I having that draggy attitude to life over something that's not worth it? Waste time, waste my life. Gosh, need more wakemeup films like that, never enough of that. Never enough of films like that that makes you realise you shouldn't be unhappy when people at another part of the world are worrying about their life cos its life and death. )

I just thought about it for a long time today and came up with my New Year resolutions. I never really believed in doing that because I thought what's the point if you're not going to achieve it? But I will try. Baby Steps. I have all the time in the world to achieve them, I am.. empowered. I can think what I want and have my own way of achieving that, the power is in me so its all good...

2012 Resolutions
1) To let go/put aside unhappy things and be happy and have a peace of heart/mind, to not overthink and be positive and strong. There's a saying that when a door closes, another door will open. No matter what comes my way, people have it tougher. In another part of the world, people are dying for their next meal, so what I face here can't compare. Everything happens for a reason and every challenge is a learning experience, however bad
2) To be confident and self-sufficient
3) To be more well-versed/knowledgeable, learn what I want to (guitar, violin, languages, etc), remember them and to be eventually, good at what I do (work)
4) To exercise, eat healthily, have restoration on the inside and outside
5) To save at least $500 each month to travel, etc and not spend so much on clothes, at most 1-2 pcs per month
6) Long-term wise, I hope I'd earn enough to have enough to give some $ to my parents and yet at the same time fulfill the above and sponsor a child + go on Mission project before I die

Baby Steps...