Stepping Out

yesterday I came back from SL camp n I was dead tired..wanted to blog abt my experience bcos I was so inspired. I was thinkin of what I learnt on my way home, but after I bathed n all, I just fell aslp..haha. so I guess this entry is not so close to what I feel when I was most/maximum-ly inspired (in dad's car, on my way home)

hell man, I'm a lil sunburnt n my two feet are also itching lyk hell..I think is bcos of the socks I wore bein too dirty n old..I needa buy new socks man..
I used that 1 pair ( my sis' smmore. my ripcurl socks spoilt/lost le =[ ) for all 3 days! lol..
well, the SL camp really did hype me up for FOC/W I think..
I cheered more n I guess its bcos the ppl r more mellow here..
and I did not really stick to 1 particular girl but rather, mix around here n there (but more with the girls la)..yep.unlike OTC.so I'm glad for that!! =X

from the camp, I discovered I kinda don't know how to interact/communicate with ppl.esp guys.haha..mebbe I have been in a girl's school too long..I like dunno how to talk to them. and at a couple of times, I was afraid to speak up bcos I'm scared or do not have the courage to do so.
I was afraid I would b thought of as lame/ weird!

I know I keep associating/ blaming my shortfalls for "being bullied last time".. and that's bad because I should not repeat things and that I should really forget about it (like forgive and forget?) but I think that experience really did change/affect my life one way or another. I guess I gotta thank the person for bullying me bcos she "brought me down to earth", made me more humble and less irritating. I remembered I was a rather irritating person last time, who did not bother to think before I said things. and I just pratically blabbered nonsense. I could imagine if she hasn't bullied me, I would be totally ostracised for my nonsense comments, or not taken seriously..

so in a way, I have her to thank.
but of course that experience has its downside too..
it made me kinda insecure (particularly abt my looks since I was targetted bcos of tt) n not confident about myself I guess..

so I guess being involved in leadership duties such as SL/FOC/W is really a good thing for me bcos I can learn to interact with ppl, step out, take a leap of faith n talk to the freshies, lead them (adding into my confidence as well) .. although I do not know how they'll react to "my befriending them", I'll try my best! =)

life's a journey..
I hope at the end of my 3 years, I'd be happy, look back with no regrets..
and on the night of my final day on Poly (I imagined it to be a night bcos hehe.it adds to the emo-ness?!), I'd look back and I'd cry because I'd feel I've truly grown to be a better, ,more matured person in this school..my happy days, sad days, camp days, seeing the school at night..running around in camps here and there and around the vincity..
lol.
I watch too much dramas!


Happy/Memorable Synergy Leader Camp moments:

- ALP: the high-element games (altho I only tried one =/)

- Performance Night: did retarded things, cheered n sang in public (think my singing not nice sia! cos too scared lol)

- Final Clash: chaotic experience with lovely Dracus/Dracos alliancing n helpin us (they're really so sweet!~was kinda touched)

- The Laughs: was laughing so hard sometimes bcos of Nicholas and Gabriel. they're both so funny and cute in action/expressions. Nicholas for actions, Gabriel for his open mouth, half-eyed, sleepy look expression (they call him Mr. Bean! LMAO)

- A girl thot I looked China *sob!* (eyeliner not enuf meh~!) but another thot I looked Singaporean and another Japanese =X (bcos I asked e last 2 girls whether I do anot..sorry cant help it!) Sem 1 I was doin the same thing bcos Louis said he thot I from China -.- I guess its up to ppl's opinion (which differs) lyk how some ppl think I'm from China (Louis, this girl) , 1 thot I Korean (Chef from Al Forno), some thot I looked Jap (Bryan, tt girl, Kimberly), 1 Victoria Bar customer thot I looked..Mongolian? (I think Mongolian.dunno what oso)

- The Dances: I suck at dancing.. but I think I know how to dance the Biz Dance (like aerobics sia but its cute) more now. my dance partner was JM (Godbro) n Tat. I like both Biz Dance (the Swinging/wrenching partner to ur side part) n TP Mass Dance (also the swinging part.but is diff kinda swings =P ) oh! then Chek-Ming (dunno what's his name/whether I got it right) aka Adidas guy aka my friend's crush was there. he's so cute he reminds me of a dinosaur (his hair) he got the best FA award..lol. n he seems lyk a nice guy n he was teaching us how to dance. I was laughin non-stop bcos I was so clueless/helpless abt dancing. he witnessed my bad dancing!! >_<

- CPF Gathering: did not interact with my empire ppl or play game (n introduce game to em)much then I went off le T.T cuz most arrived late+they were eating. but this rather cute guy (look lyk chipmunk n my cousin) called Lesley initiated n help me carry my bag (cos I got too many things cos I used my bro's adidas BIG bag cos I aint got my own AGAIN) to my dad's car!!! *melts* AHAHHAA. he got such long eyelashes.haha. ok I dont lyk him but I think he's cute! n I was lyk "wah.I stress.I hope my dad wont think u r my bf!" to him.LOL.reminds me of e time when I was with Ian then I was so scared my parents will kno.. not that they wont allow me to have a r/s (since they allowed sis'..but I guess/predict if I had a bf, it means less freedom in things like stayovers).. oh well. I'd let nature take its own course to avoid getting burnt.


` Yatta, kon!~
Man, I hope I am ready for FOC/W..where the freshies come.
I hope my sub-grp will b good, with fellow GLs whom I can interact with/not too intimidating (then the more I'd step back/b antisocial-tts the case for Magus/Zilra I guess)