truly pathetic

I'm truly pathetic.it's my b'day n im spending it alone.doing things I don't like.
Woke up by the stupid fluttering silk pink curtains above me, n the heat on my backs..I wanted to sleep longer.
the only wonderful things tt happened to me today was mom giving me an angbao n some well-wishers who still remembered me..n sent me either a friendster or sms greeting.

Today I woke up, ate n bathed, n went out to the nearby MAMA shop to buy newspapers (to find job), I bought some snacks as well- HelloPanda, Hershey Kisses (its candy coated.the packaging looks new so I wanted to try it) and a strawberry yougurt drink.

went home, scanned thru the newspapers for suitable jobs..circled it.called stella, who took forever to pick up, but did anyway..
I told her abt the job.
we gonna go for job interviews at 2 Japanese Restaurants (1 muz take bus from BISHAN LA.freakin far.at 11am smmore F* la) n maybe even a club (called moomba or wadeva) AHAHA.
as server only (she din mind so ok lor)

then Aunt came n asked me abt the HP thing (she got from her friend a k700i, who bought a new phone n gave her the old 1.. I was using k700i so she asked me). N I explained to her..
N then kor finished usin the com.. so here I m!! typing about how I'm spending my 18th b'dae..I'm spending it pathetically.with myself, in my house, playing PS n the COM.

I always thought I'd spend it more meaningfully, elsewhere, at least wif friends, happy or wadeva..
I know its not sucha big deal.but I just feel so..abandoned.I know my good frens din mean to "abandon" me, but it really feels nobody cares about me..altho I know its not really tt case.

I think Im just disappointed..its lyk the expectations>perf ..=dissatisfaction.
during exams I was even dreaming abt mom agreeing n sponsoring me a chalet where I invited friends (tho the majority wld not really be my close frens) to celebrate, n have fun.but mom said "dun waste tt kinda money" so ok. SAVE tt KINDA money mom. thanks.
as a daughter, I should understand.

I dun even kno if I can find a job..
everything is not right. I haven done any of the holiday plans I want to, I haven got a job, I'm just doing nothing. I think even if I was to lock myself away in a store room n die slowly, nobody wld know..

even when I ate the HelloPanda, It SUCKS. stupid shop. its lyk lao feng alr lah..but I finished it n e ways n felt quite sick.
then I opened the Hersheys Kisses.It looks ok.so I thought it was okay.tt at least outta 2 food, 1 food is ok..I bought these snacks to lyk "reward" myself or smth..BUT as I plunged my fingers into it, it was so oily. GROSS to the max! thanks mama shop. I just wasted my money.

I really hate ADMIN work ok.it pays good money, I know, but I really dun wanna wrk as tt for this holiday.
mebbe I need time to recover from the bad admin experience (haha.no lah it wasnt tt bad, I think)..
but I hate admin bcos it indirectly stole all my frens.ALL my frens wanted to work tt! DIE DIE OSO WRK TT!bcos they dun lyk other jobs like waitressing..they prefer tt.die oso prefer tt.

Admin landed me in this misery..whahas.
even my parents r bugging me go get an admin job. den today I got awoken up by Sarah who abandoned the Japanese Event in school (which she's supp to go wif me) on 11th-12th Sept bcos of her job.
ADMIN RUINED MY HOLIDAY.
everybody's workin til sch reopen as admin.
great! I gotta do all the holiday plans myself. SAT NEED TO GO CHURCH SO LEFT SUNDAY.
No need to tan le lor
No need to DIY le lor
No need to do anything!
Just admin til death do us part.

I feel sour lah ok..
I wanna complain.

sucksssssss.
I should be independent this holiday n DO the things I wanna do..
even if it means doing things alone..

HATEEEEEEEEEE ADMIN!!!!!!!!
im pathetic I know.
even my younger bro is happy, with his friend, at some place.
my siblings r out too.

M I born on the wrong day?
Sept 7 seems like sucha nice day to be born at. the numericals seem nice.
even the number 7 seem to b associated with the guys I liked.
haa.
or is my life just lyk tt.boring as it can be.
n all I can do is whine abt it.