epilogue

im so glad its over.wrk n all.
gt my referral.still owed 1 frm ankit.haha..

i found out today tt it was obvious tt the girls (the grp tt called me tiger) din lyk it.apparently i thot only tiffany n i knew since i told her..but i was talkin to huimin today n it seems she knew too.

i mean its quite obvious.i was near em.huifen asked the ppl ard her wad they wanna drink.she nv ask me..gt food oso wun offer me.i thot she was okay wif me.but it turns out its nt.

today wanted to ask her to sign me in so i can use her MS outlook for sm spreadsheet thing ankit asked me to do.but she say cannot.da 1st thing tt came to my mind is tt the reason y she refused to do so is tt she, lyk the others, r talkin behind my back.thru emails.
hw convenient.

ya.life's cruel.there r some who juz dislikes u for no reason at all.n some who r okay wif u.
i was glad to meet mel, tiffany, huimin, jijia n the investigators (janina, crystal,jon,kayan n shiqin).they really kept me goin.

i really dun kno wads it lyk if i was the ostracised malay girl tt huimin talked abt.i'd juz feel lyk hell.dun kno if i wld b able to take it cos this knowing abt huifen they all dislikin me is alr enuf to make me sad.

i wish i cld really take the "u cant change wad ppl think..they either lyk u or they dun" saying into my mind.darn.

spent a bomb on my farewell gifts to em but its ok.but i dun think huifen they all appreciated it.mebbe i shldnt haf buy.i thot they'd care n say thank u n all those things i hoped.after all,they did get stuffs for mel n jon when they left.

its nt abt wanting smth frm em.its nt lyk i wanna get smth frm huifen they all.it was juz mebbe gettin a pathetic flower frm em wld make me feel tt mebbe they din dislike me as much as i thot.this afternoon i was happy when i thot they at least asked abt me (i overheard tiffany pickin up the phone talkin to smbody n tt person was askin abt the present they wanna gif me-then tiffany said she bought shoes for me alr)

den during lunch i asked tiffany abt it.cos it was damn joke hw loud she talked tt i cld hear it.den realised it was janina who called.they cared.the others din gif a fuck if i died right away.they left without saying goodbye..i juz think its so cruel.

i wanna go uni.study as much as i can.studyin doesnt haf sucky office wrk politics where ppl juz favours or juz dislike some1 outright.

wrk's tiring.
i hope sch's @ least all right.
after this my confidence lvls juz dipped more.so nervous as to which class i'd b goin n hw i'm gonna interact wif ppl anymore.its hard to say but i juz feel so lost.abt everything.