Shitai Motomeru. All I ever wanted.. is a simple kind of free..

Baby Steps

2012-01-06T09:55:00.000-08:00

It's 2012 and it's been so so long since I've blogged. Not sure if anyone will ever read this or agree with me that they have felt this way but right now I shouldn't be complaining but these past few days I've been out of sync.

Well I know, I'm supposingly "so young", 23 going on 24, but already I am so so tired/bored of life, it's crazy. Maybe I need a break. I so so long to go on getaways to a serene place without cellphone, just me and nature, doesn't matter if I'm alone. Why? Cos life just generally seemed boring, same thing day in and out, alikened to a routine and I'm itching to get away. Few years ago I'm probably very comfortably happy with my routine life but well, not now.

My life had taken a turn and though I'm not used to it yet, I'm honestly happy, relieved bcos its not so crazy/stressful anymore. The change is probably for the best and I'm lucky to get that off my back. But I feel out of sync because I think generally, it boils down to the fact that I've not attained to that level where I have a peace of heart/mind.

But I want to.. Cos I only have one life and it sucks to feel sucky. Watching Machine Gun Preacher today woke me up though (it's not fantastic but it reminded me of what's important, why am I having that draggy attitude to life over something that's not worth it? Waste time, waste my life. Gosh, need more wakemeup films like that, never enough of that. Never enough of films like that that makes you realise you shouldn't be unhappy when people at another part of the world are worrying about their life cos its life and death. )

I just thought about it for a long time today and came up with my New Year resolutions. I never really believed in doing that because I thought what's the point if you're not going to achieve it? But I will try. Baby Steps. I have all the time in the world to achieve them, I am.. empowered. I can think what I want and have my own way of achieving that, the power is in me so its all good...

2012 Resolutions
1) To let go/put aside unhappy things and be happy and have a peace of heart/mind, to not overthink and be positive and strong. There's a saying that when a door closes, another door will open. No matter what comes my way, people have it tougher. In another part of the world, people are dying for their next meal, so what I face here can't compare. Everything happens for a reason and every challenge is a learning experience, however bad
2) To be confident and self-sufficient
3) To be more well-versed/knowledgeable, learn what I want to (guitar, violin, languages, etc), remember them and to be eventually, good at what I do (work)
4) To exercise, eat healthily, have restoration on the inside and outside
5) To save at least $500 each month to travel, etc and not spend so much on clothes, at most 1-2 pcs per month
6) Long-term wise, I hope I'd earn enough to have enough to give some $ to my parents and yet at the same time fulfill the above and sponsor a child + go on Mission project before I die

Baby Steps...

And age and fears catches up on us, all.

2010-06-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

Back from KL and it's good to be back! Felt like blogging =D so, here I am!
I'm glad to be back to the comfort of my own bed, away from wet/dirty toilets, being copped up in the buses for 4.5 hours, to KL and back, wishing I have 2 bladders instead of one, and doing things like drinking less water or telling myself to take a nap and hibernate, so I won't wanna pee so bad..

But despite all that, plus the long waiting time (lucky I have my IPod with me!) because it's a MLM company sponsored/point rewarded trip to visit the new HQ, I enjoyed it.
I was happy to have spend time with my mom and to find out about somethings (although some are really random):

Firstly, I realised that I can recognise my mom from the back from her demeanor.. amongst a sea of aunties wearing same protective clothings for hygiene at the factory tour. I also realised she can't really taste well and that she's real pro at packing, squeezing things into the luggage.

Secondly, I realised I do have some weird/fearisome thoughts (that explained later*) of dying/worst case scenarios (Does that make me paranoid or a worrier?)

Fourthly, dad's always traveling, under the hot sun, so much from his job. Mom had followed him in his car before, and after that, she got a headache and that she couldn't stand it.. I felt quite bad hearing that though he's used to it. That dad toiled so hard for us, his family. And then I remembered this saying that states "It's a privilege to be able to take care of your parents". I agree. Not everyone can do that. And as I remember this saying, I pondered if they didn't really provide and aren't there at least, sufficiently enough for me in my growing years, whether I would even say this. After all, as an adult it's easy to be displeased. To want things.

What more an insensible child. I wasn't really a happy kid then and I'm not so now either. But I know I am lucky to be from a normal enough, intact family, and that when I'm complaining and wishing that we're closer as a family, I shouldn't let that affect me so much, and stop being envious and always comparing myself to others.

At the end of all that thinking, I thought, "I really NEED to grow up now".. I'm 22!
It's easy to get lost in the pace of life, think "oh I'm still young I can make mistakes!" but do I really wanna do that and regret? Feel shortchanged at the end of it all? I know, from now on, I should stop being so dependent on others. I should have a mind of my own too as well. There's just so much to improve. I'm at my prime age, and yet I am not living as I want to. I fall short of my expectations I set myself. I give up too easily. If I live like that any longer, when I'm supposingly having the most energy, what about later?

So many things I've got to get used to and change.
Everything changes, when I'm out of school.
And I know I should not be the old childish Iris anymore.
I would have to find work and decide on a career path, start saving when I work, give money to parents and at the same time, juggle the wants/expectations I have of myself, find personal growth, experience while maintaining the friendships, relationships I have. All that will grow harder with work cos that means having little time to myself. As I thought about that, I find it ironic. How ironic it is, when you're young you have the energy and time but no money, but when you're old, you have more money but no time or energy.. Time.. that is of the essence.. We all, we only live once. Now's the Only Time, you know?

Yet you can't have everything. It's scary. To grow old. Having to face all that.
So many responsibilities! I try not to get overwhelmed. OMG, wrinkles? Fine lines that shows my seniority in life? In life experiences? No thanks! (I don't wanna grow old! I can't imagine waking one day to see I have my first wrinkle like how I discovered I had my first armpit hair recently!) Oh!! I gotta buy supplements! And there's so many clothes/bags I want to buy! Clothes.. I know.. I have to make wise choices, on my shopping. Probably churn out internet shopping for good, and invest in quality sophisticated clothes, comfortable clothes that can bring me from work to outside, clothes I'm confident in, not those cheap internet bargain buys. I am determined.. To not spend my stuffs on useless stuffs anymore - just a bag and clothes for work and I'm happy I think?

The list goes on and on! And all I have are thoughts that needs to be gathered.
Things to be done.
Things I want to do.
All that, and no solid action plans. They're all kinda in the "Zilch" Factor.. how do I organise that?

Sigh..

And.. about the trip.. To sum it all up, well, with this trip being with my mom and middle-aged aunties and uncles, I imagined I would be anti-social or like =/ really "erhmmss" about their auntieness, but I wasn't. The karaoke-ing singing auntie bus idea didn't come true. And this trip was surprisingly interesting because besides the thoughts that were going through my head, I got to see the factory production process. Lotsa tasks are automated, but there's lotsa manual labor involved too (So I guess robots aren't replacing us soon a la I Robot).. So 100% automation is not wide-spread or even possible (I don't know) yet..? The last I heard, scientists says even the most advanced robots have the intelligence of well, a cockroach. (Are cockroaches not that intelligent? What would be their IQ? But well, cockroaches should be quite smart considering they outlived lotsa prehistoric creatures?!!)
All that hard work I see from the workers made me think about the source of the products I take for granted.
The effort put inside each and every product. It was marvelous just like life itself.

And I know I sound weird. But I am. During this trip, I discovered I have some weird feelings/fears too.
In the factory tour we have to cover most of our body parts for hygiene so we won't contaminate the products produced. Shower Cap? Check. White LONG robe covering bag? Check. Plastic bag covering shoes? Check. It reminds me of the other time I went for something like that too. For a tour. I think it was an educational tour to an incinerator. Or some tour of a science lab (think at Singapore Poly).

Before the tour, I felt abit tensed when I was in the room separating us into the other room. Mainly because it resonates the scene in Schinder's List where the people waited for the next moment and the door was closing with the "DEHHH DEHHH!!!!!" sound. If I was a POW traumatized and scared of closed spaces, I would probably have died or clawed my way out. It was scary because if my imagination ran a little wilder than if I have restricted it, I would think we're all gonna be poisoned to death via breathing in carbon monoxide released from the wall ventilation, haha. Hence I was tensed. And yes, I'm so retarded..

And so that's what I mean about my second point above.
For the trip, I wish I could see more places, shop more .. A pity I didn't get to take the Health/Fat Analysis checks. That would be more interesting.

So in summary, for the trip, besides getting a perspective, I managed to shop at Bukit Bintang - Sungei Wang Plaza (with my mom paying for my buys which includes a dress, shoes, belt, innerwear), Cocoa Boutique, Jalan Pertaling Chinatown, stay at Grand Season Hotel (with a view of the Twin Towers!) watching Flash Forward and Gossip Girls at the wee hours in the morning and later, "wash my ass" after pooing, with the turn of the knob - so the toilet bowl washed it for me, see the production process of a MLM company, discover my weird thoughts/fears (which includes the fear of sitting at the back of the bus and dying. Fearing if there's an accident, I'd be the first to die).

I also have new found respect for MLM aunties though I dislike MLM and would probably not get into it ever (but I applaud their hard selling and perseverance that enabled them to go on such trips), so the 2 days, was well spent, I would say. It was a breather (except the toilets) from Singapore =)

Innocence, Back in Those Days

2010-04-09T11:50:00.000-07:00

I went to school today to get my prelim scripts (cannot wait ma) + meet the spree-er to get my items + seek help in formatting my laptop + study and viola! When I got my paper I found out I passed 2 papers out of 3! (50 marks, and so, for both- 2nd lower class somemore!) . Failed one (15%) and the 4th one haven't get back yet..

It came as a TOTAL shock cos I'd never have expected it.. Am so glad, pleasantly suprised cos honestly (I'm not kidding) I didn't put my 100%, this is not the most I can put in, can say maybe not even 80%? Really never study much at all cos things happened that time and I was busy trying to resolve it. But I still manage to get not bad results. But should not let that get into my head and get cocky and let my guard down. Time is crucial now. Prelims is nothing compared to the finals!!

On my way to school I also received a call from Promedia (that does the Green Book!) that I'm shortlisted (may get a chance) and that I'm lucky for that.. Got asked a bunch of questions but my freaking phone got problem I can't talk to the caller cos I can't hear anything at all =( damn annoying. then cos I mass send out my resumes I din know which company called me. and I couldn't hear (and paiseh ask them spell after asking them 2 times) the company nor the person's name.. yeah, then the phone problem happen.

Walau. Could've died. It's like being given some hope about winning something (getting a winning lottery?) and then you died. Called back and it was the bloody fax machine (I think) Mann~ why she didn't use normal phone line!? Why my phone so sucky?! When I reach school (after like 30+ more mins. Imagine my anxiety?!) I immed after putting down my bag go search for the no. they used to call me to track the company down. when I called back the HR Dept was having meeting so I can't contact them at all. Then by the time it was 6+ office close I guess. GAH!

Frustrated.
But ok lah the good news of my prelim results made things better..
and also the fact that my laptop can start now after being formatted (thanks to the spree-er who's very nice to help me!). That's great cos my laptop works waayyy faster than the desktop.. (but still quite slow cos 500+ RAM. outdated already) BUT!! I lost all my precious files. I did back up my system but that's so long ago.. T.T so most of my new files I acquired after the backup are gone!! ALL GONE!! *crumbles and dies*

The music files and the likes. I can't sync my Ipod unless I get them back!! Means I'm stuck with my old songs and can't sync the new ones in! that's like music deprivation/death for a music nut like me =( THE DEATH SENTENCE!!

GAH.
Anyway, whatever. that aside, I went home to new earrings having arrived (YAY!) and my W-2 Form finally arrived! Means I can apply for tax refund already! but bloody hell, I lost my Social Security card =( I searched everywhere but couldn't find it.. Then I asked Eunice for help.. I think I gotta go to the US Embassy for help.. (walau so annoying to deal with this during study period)

During the search I came across my box fulla letters, cards, my old diary, my kindergarten report card.. I opened them and read it and found myself smiling and laughing to the childish/innocence/compliments (you're my best friend! you're so nice/weird/blur/funny/always cheering me up yadayada)/talking bad about other people from friends.. everything) and it made me smile.. and remember the innocence then, and maybe how I am as a person, how they came into my life and mine to theirs, what they said about me that makes me remember who I am then and even now (where I kinda don't know myself anymore) I guess.. I didn't really change at all.. I'm still mostly, kinda the same Iris..

Admist that "feel good" feeling, I also felt a tinge of sadness.. I missed my friends and wondered how we lost contact and they just am no longer in my life, and neither of us really did anything.. I miss Yoko/Vernisar. I saw particularly a letter Yoko wrote me that said I'm like God's gift and she's thankful for me. I can't believe she wrote that. Touches my heart.. and it's quite sad now we're no longer in contact.. =(

When I first met her, and she got assigned to sit next to me, she hated it and tried stopping it. Next thing we know we're best friends and she warmed up to me so fast, like nobody had before (that's what she said) We were so close we even used to write letters to each other.. and call each other best/good friends, that we'd never separate.. Friends Forever!! What happened?

You know, I'd like to think of myself as someone who treasure my friends, but am I really?
Why did we drift apart and stop talking to each other altogether?
I miss them..

Miss them so much I scanned some of my neoprints I dig up.
and I think I'm gonna drop them a FB message and hope they'd reply.. =)

This Second

2010-04-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to hold it all together, this second.
Songs are both comforting and bringing on those revolting emotions.
Bah. Gonna bury in work.

Ellie Goulding - The End

We've only ever kissed lying down
We've only ever touched
When there's no one else around
I can be elusive if you want me to
I'm not being intrusive
I just wish I knew the truth

As to why
I wait for you
Longer than the average person would
And why
I think about you
More than I think one should

Our body's fit together like a makeshift puzzle
And It's clear to see why you puzzle me
And you turn your frame
And you whisper my name
As though I am a burden

Cus I'm making up for last time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm waking up with you
So what's new
So what's new

I am at your house
So I belong to you for now
Trying to impress you
But lord I don't know how
I can be a statue if you want me to
I'm not being difficult
I just need to know the truth

As to why
I'm wanting you
And I would take you away if I could
And why I'm still here
It's something I still haven't understood
Our hands rest together like pieces of paper
But they're always blank when I hold your hand
And it gave you a fright
When I stayed the night
And you gave yourself to me

Cus I'm making up for last time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm waking up with you
So what's new
So what's new

It's not the end
It's not the end
So don't let us pretend

Cus I'm making up for last time
And I'm making up for you
And I'm waking up from last night
And I'm waking up with you
So what's new
So what's new

Ellie Goulding - Fighter Planes

Stones falling down
Rollercoaster, heart pound?
Fears overplayed...
Two left feet emergency.

Wide open space
Catch my tail,
fishing net.
Fold up my frown
take the rage
and smooth it out.

Stick to my skin,
paper mache face to live in.
Same view to paint,
Watercolour your name

Face your mistakes
(You will never have to feel that way again)
Oil your chains, under rate.
(You will never have to feel that way again)
Read every page,
Press the dents (of my) fighter plane

I held the fort, and I swung my sword I have muted the screams I have broken the falls oh I have fought, and I swung my sword I have muted the screams I have broken the falls

Fighter Plane
Fly away!

Avril Lavigne - Things I'lll Never Say

I'm tuggin' at my hair
I'm pullin' at my clothes
I'm tryin to keep my cool
I know it shows

I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it, yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down, on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

It don't do me any good it's just a waste of time
What use is it to you what's on my mind
If it ain't comin out we're not going anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it yeah

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you, away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down, on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

What's wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter I stumble like I've got nothing to say

Cause I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you're worth it
You're worth it yeah

I guess i'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you--away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down, on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

These things I'll never say

Music and Photography

2010-04-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

My laptop's spoilt (I can't get it to start -.- It died on me after the power trip yesterday, which coincidentally happened when I was watching 2012. Quite scary!) but still, I'm still blogging!

Stayed at home the whole of today cos I was kinda lazy.. (was in the lazy I-wanna-sleep mood)
No mood and kinda no company to go the library.. But nevertheless, forced myself to study though and I almost finished the 2nd chapter of my 1st subject! Yay.. But still very behind cos my final exams' in 7th May.. Time crunch to the max!! =@
This morning I received calls "rejecting my application" from the companies I sent my resumes to yesterday (so fast!) They said they're looking for executives NOW (and aren't willing to wait TILL JUNE when I finish my final exams). I could understand that (the unwillingness to wait cos I'm not like an exceptional scholar and I guess in some way, I'm just expendable as any fresh normal graduate out there) and I appreciate that they called to tell me so I won't wait my ass off and at least I know lah (Rather than think OMG why no calls? Did they at least see my application?)

Oh well, I'm gonna just keep on keeping my fingers crossed.. It will be fantastic if the job I get would be related to Marketing/Events, and enable me to travel overseas occasionally that exposes me and trains and develops me. At the end of the day what matters the most is that I learned something (and move from fresh struggling ignorant bird in the dog-eat-dog world to someone more confident and aware..) I would NOT want to be like an assistant doing ONLY "office errands boy" kinda work..

Anyway, job matters aside, I tried to study. But it was utterly boring because I so lacked the motivation and the drive! (The start is always the hardest they say) But with music, I can sustain abit.. kinda (though I did get very distracted daydreaming, "fashion showing") Was using my Wifi and Ipod to access Youtube to savour songs while studying to beat the Zzz monster..

And I hit gold!

There's songs from Ellie Goulding that's real good.
I don't know how to "categorise" her music cos I never really know music genres, but I guess it's like Digital and like Alternative? Bah, I don't know, but what matters is she's good.
She's got a real unique voice and she reminds me of a little of Lily Allen and Imogen Heap!
and for some weird reason when I sing along she puts me feel like dancing/like a nymph/flow-ey mood..

I particularly like her Guns & Horses, The End and Fighter Plane (as well as Starry Eyed: the first song I listened of her- for some reason I thought she's Bjork -.- and I'll Hold My Breath**- prev called Swimming Pool)

Also dawned upon Marina and the Diamonds' Hollywood (real catchy) too and I liked it!

Funny thing, listening to Guns & Horses I imagined how the music video should be.. I imagined how I would've done it if I'm the singer (I guess you could say I have a "Precious" moment - that's a movie - if you've seen it you'd understand what I'm talking about ^-^) with scenes like..

A girl walking to running (with flowy hair and light drapey clothes)/breezy atmosphere that changes to dark atmosphere then light again?/digitalized arty moving background/playing of guitar/roses' thorns/falling papers or photos and perhaps burning them?/binding/being bound/screens/falling into a hole and also in the water (perhaps can make use of scenes from Eternal Sunshine of A Spotless Mind since the song is kinda related- erasing of negativity - if only it's that easy! - and such)

LOL. Honestly, sometimes I wish I am a music video director or those good people who fits songs into movie scenes.. that's such a fabulous job to have (I could imagine the stress that comes with it too, but it'd be awesome to be in such a line of work.. -.-)

.. Gah. What a daydream. I'm such a music nut sometimes, it's crazy. It goes to the extent that after I finish watching a movie (on DVD) I'd wait till credits to roll and I'd pause and unpause it, one by one, I'd search for the music in Youtube and listen to them! And occasionally I seek for good music with the help of Top 100 Charts. Can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF GOOD MUSIC I can identify with =)

Oh well, anyway I saw a TV ad for Canon's Powershot SD1400 IS Digital Camera recently and I was fascinated by it! I don't know how much it cost (and am too broke to afford it anyway) but it has like Fisheye function! That's like so cool. It's like a lomographic digital camera (which reminds me of my retired barely used Holga T.T)! But it still isn't perfect..

*My Definition of a Perfect Camera*
It'd be awesome, if any company can have (ok I may not be that realistic here) lomographic effects like fisheye + miniature effect (like this camera provides) + RICH/FADE-Y artistic colors + makeup effect (for the face conscious) + the function that enables you to turn the panel to see how you look when you take the photo so you can adjust how you look (you know like taking a neoprint you can adjust how you look.. my brother's camera have that.. it'd be.. for the camwhorers.. )

OMG you can't believe it. My TV's on and just as I'm typing this, the advertisement came on.. Haha..
How coincidentally weird (and kinda funny considering I only saw that advert once recently till now)

And.. Goodness gracious.. It's 10.47 PM. I'm online for so long! Gotta get back to my books.
Shall end of the good ol' lyrical way again.. With a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics. It's so sweet..

If only pain/negativity/hurts and wounds can be erased/healed just like that, I would want that.
And I want to give that to the people I love as well..
I would want to change the past so it would hurt less, do things differently..
Everyone who has let themselves love that much before would have wanted that.

So I guess this song is gold and digs deep because everyone could identify with that.
If only love could hurt less. And saying that reminds me of yet another song I heard today, Hardest of Hearts by Florence and The Machines (but haven't grown to really like it yet. Maybe in time, I'd appreciate? Cos some songs are like that)

Ellie Goulding - Guns & Horses
You're so quiet
But it doesn't phase me
You're on time
You move so fast, makes me feel lazy

And let's join forces
We've got our guns and horses
I know you've been burned by every fire is a lesson learned

I left my house
I left my clothes
Door wide open
Never knowing
You're so worthy, you are

But I wish I could feel all it for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
And maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would

Let's tie words
'Cause they amount to nothing
Play it down
Pretend you can't take what you've found
But you found me
On a screen you sit permanently

I left my house
I left my clothes
Door wide open
Never knowing
You're so worthy, you are

But I wish I could feel all it for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
And maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would

It's time to come clean
And make sense of everything
It's time that we found out who we are
Cause when I'm standing here in the dark
I see your face in every star

But I wish I could feel all it for you
I wish I could be it all for you
If I could erase the pain
And maybe you'd feel the same
I'd do it all for you
I would
I'd do it all for you, I would

I'll Hold My Breath

2010-04-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

what a befitting photo to intro my new *Song of The Moment*!!
(Side Note: Today was spent sending our resumes.. Oh yes, I am blogging again!
It's like the expression of the soul, no? My soul must've need lotsa expressing and here's my outlet~)

Ellie Goulding - I'll Hold My Breath

Breathe air you're not used to,
tread floors you don't fall through
Make waves,
You crash a symbol hard
Follow no one, always play the wrong card

Waste days, in foreign places
Shed lights, on your better side
Reassure me that you'll wait for me,
Wait for me, as long as it takes

Now I'll hold my breath, I'll hold my breath

Until you see me in your dreams
We'll stay awake beneath the trees
We'll watch the buildings turn to dust
A sky of diamonds just for us
You are the risk I'll always take
The only branch I'll never break
Those fears we'll blow them all away
We'll blow them all away

Fight fires in your best clothes,
touch skin with your eyes closed
Chase thunder...
With the volume down
Pack a suitcase, wonder to the next town
Force quit, on your losing streak
Solve a riddle in a magazine, be tongue-in-cheek
Tell me that we're still too young,
That we're still too young and I'll hold my tongue

Until you see me in your dreams
We'll stay awake beneath the trees
We'll watch the buildings turn to dust
A sky of diamonds just for us
You are the risk I'll always take
The only branch I'll never break
Those fears we'll blow them all away
We'll blow them all away

I'm here, I'm here to take you
I'll swim, I will swim to save you
No fall, I'm here to catch you
I'll swim, I will swim to save you

Until you see me in your dreams
We'll stay awake beneath the trees
We'll watch the buildings turn to dust
A sky of diamonds just for us
You are the risk I'll always take
The only branch I'll never break
Those fears we'll blow them all away
We'll blow them all away

Inner Strength

2010-04-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

How does one in the midst of their low, find strength?
In their midst of uncertainty, find bravery?

How can you even measure how strong a person you are?
Cos I think I would've failed that one.
Surely it can be grown or learnt?

I wish I knew all the answers.

Pre-exams Low

2010-04-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

Been so long since I blogged OR did art/fiddled with Photoshop! I miss it..
Recently though I'm supposed to be studying, I happen to be playing around with random photos with Photoshop, with photos of me I have.. (and of my friends too) And ALAS! Here's my creations!! I really love the flower one (though I am one-eyed -.-) and also the child photo one! It super looks like an aged photo/painting!

Super cool..
lol. I don't know if I'm blogging because I miss my friends.. everyone's busy.
Feel like I've got no life. But I guess it's like that before the exams..
The low motivation and contact. I need some encouragement/support!! LOL!!
Gah, wish I'm stronger and less of a fool.. Why do I feel down even when everything's fine?

.. Maybe that's why I'm doing a post now. To cheer myself up, lol.
Strange thing about blogging. It's like a release.

Haha. Sigh.. Doing mask on my face now. Multi-tasking..
Going to head to library later to study. Hope I'd get much covered!
Gotta finish washing up and reading newspaper now. This is a short post. And I'd end with a song ;D
THE Song of the Moment/Song that touched my heart in a certain way (ok I know it sounds kinda corny)

Nicole Kidman - Unusual Way

In a very unusual way,
One time I needed you.
In a very unusual way,
you were my friend.

Maybe it lasted a day,
maybe it lasted an hour,
but somehow it will never end.

In a very unusual way,
I think I'm in love with you.
In a very unusual way,
I want to cry.

Something inside me goes weak,
Something inside me surrenders,
and you're the reason why,
you're the reason why.

You don't know what you do to me,
you don't have clue.
You can't tell what it´s like to be me looking at you,
It scares me so that I can hardly speak..

In a very unusual way,
I owe what I am to you.
Though at times
it appears I won't stay,
I never go.

Special to me in my life,
Since the first day that I met you.
How could I ever forget you,
Once you had touched my soul?

In a very unusual way,
You've made me whole.

Music >> John Mayer: Battle Studies

2009-12-17T12:48:00.000-08:00

I'm a music junkie.. gotta love music, the expression of the soul..
Music.. they're always so relatable and they convey your feelings sometimes just listening to them is comforting or downright evoking some feelings/thoughts/memories.

Always in need and seeking new songs..

And..Recently (!) I have came across John Mayer's Battle Studies Album..
It's gold I tell you. He's so talented. You gotta love the lyrics.. they may be especially relatable to some..

I especially like *
Perfectly Lonely
*Edge of Desire
*Half of My Heart
Friends Lovers or Nothing
All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

I love the quote "the simple little kind of free" from the song Perfectly Lonely =)
It's just so fitting (though not really too)

Sigh.. I always had..
dreams of long lasting freedom, that I'm happy with the simplest things.. one without a care in the world..

I long for freedom.. I love freedom..
but.. freedom don't really know me..
I can't let myself free.

A simple kind of free..

2009-12-17T12:39:00.000-08:00

Looking back, I feel stupid.
I realised I didn't change much and I haven't truly grown up as I thought I had/hoped for..
and I guess I never will in its full extent.

but it is good, I'm happy..
because you keep learning new things everyday.
isn't that's what life is all about?

and although life may get you down,
people may disappoint you,
you may cry your hearts out,
you win some, you may lose some..
what matters is not the winning or losing..

the most important thing is to have tried your best and not to let yourself down..
to have.. learn from things..

and to the world I may look like a fool,
but I gave my all, my heart, the best I know how..
this is the path I chose.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2009-06-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

watched Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind recently and it was such a fab movie, I gotta recommend it! gotta love the bittersweet love stories like Love Me If You Dare, etc etc etc. besides horrors, bittersweet romance, unconventional, artistic movies would appeal to me. for the former, I guess I like it because it's not those so unrealistic like some romance stories. it's what relationships are like- bittersweet.

as described from Wikipeida, the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a 2004 American drama by French director Michel Gondry. The film uses elements of science fiction and neosurrealism to explore the nature of memory and romantic love. It opened in North America on March 19, 2004 and grossed over US$70 million worldwide.

Gondry worked on the story with Charlie Kaufman and Pierre Bismuth, a French performance artist. Together, they won an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay in 2005. The film stars Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet and features Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Wilkinson, Elijah Wood, Jane Adams, and David Cross.

Blessed are the forgetful
for they forget the better
even if they're blunders

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;".

The 2 quote mentioned above is mentioned in the movie and the latter is where the brilliant title is taken from as well, from part of the poem Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope. If you break down the title, sunshine means happiness, cheerfulness and spotless mind means a mind that is clean, undefiled, free from spot or stain.
This a story of a tragic love affair, where forgetfulness became the heroine's only comfort. Where eternal happiness seems possible only from a spotless, clean, undefiled mind.. case in point, here's some random page discussing about the title/movie.

Sypnosis:
Emotionally withdrawn Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) and dysfunctional free spirit Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) meet each other for the first time at a beach in Montauk, New York, and subsequently become romantically involved. However, two years into their relationship, they fall out of love with each other. Clementine discovers the services of Lacuna, Inc., a firm led by Dr. Mierzwiak (Tom Wilkinson) that claims to be able to erase all specific memories from a person's mind. Clementine opts to have Lacuna erase Joel from her mind. She hands over all of her possessions that have a link to their romance. When Joel seeks out Clementine the next day to try to make up, he finds out that she has completely no knowledge of who he is and is being wooed by Patrick (Elijah Wood), a technician from Lacuna who became smitten with Clementine. He is making use of her past memories and the items given to Clementine by Joel to win her affection. Joel investigates further and finds out about Lacuna. He opts to have his mind wiped of all memory of Clementine. He hands over to Lacuna all the items he believes have something to do with his relationship with her.

The Lacuna technicians, Patrick and Stan (Mark Ruffalo), arrive at Joel's apartment to perform the mind wipe as he sleeps. It is an all-night process. Mary (Kirsten Dunst), Stan's girlfriend who is also a Lacuna employee, shows up. Patrick leaves the apartment to spend time with Clementine. Stan and Mary are left to mind the machine. They end up having sex and getting stoned. Inside Joel's mind during a lucid dream, Joel realizes that his memories of Clementine are being erased in reverse order. As he experiences in his mind the earlier, happier times with her, he realizes that he wants to stop the procedure and keep the memories. He begins to fight the mind wipe by trying to hide Clementine in deeper memories of his mind. Joel's resistance causes the machine to foul up, and Stan and Mary are forced to call Dr. Mierzwiak to help to restart and complete the procedure. While Dr. Mierzwiak is able to restore the process to normal, his arrival brings about several awkward feelings between himself and the stoned Mary. Shortly later she learns that she had her mind wiped of her former affair with Dr. Mierzwiak. Joel realizes that he is not able stop the mind wipe process, but before his last memory of Clementine at the Montauk beach house is erased, she tells him she loves him and says "meet me in Montauk."

Joel wakes up the next day, decides to skip work, and takes the Long Island Rail Road train to Montauk where he meets Clementine. Unaware of who each other is, they quickly bond and begin to form a new relationship. The same day, Mary quits her job, steals the client files from Lacuna and mails them back to their clients. After returning to the city, Joel drives Clementine to her home to get her toothbrush so she can spend the night at his place. She meets Patrick, who is there to woo Clementine and wonders why Joel is still seeing her. When Clementine returns, she finds her Lacuna file in the mail and plays the tape from it for her and Joel. Joel thinks that she is toying with his feelings, forces her to leave his car and drives off alone. Patrick attempts to cheer Clementine up but she verbally lashes out at him and breaks off their budding relationship. Clementine travels to Joel's apartment. She finds Joel with his own Lacuna tape and holding a drawing from their former relationship that was missed out when he handed over his possessions to Lacuna. They both become aware of their former relationship. The two recognize that their relationship may have problems based on their past, but decide not to let those failings prevent them from seeing each other. The movie ends with them in a teasing snowball fight on the Montauk beach.

gotta love the movie.. it seems to coincide with the quotes I mentioned in my previous entries:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”- Jim Morrison

I think this movie will become my all time favourite now, because I can't remember my past favourites.. haha.. in view of the title and the meanings, should I be glad I'm forgetful? cos I realised I don't remember or keep much of my memories.. I don't know why. don't remember things I ought to.. it's like what's lived and learnt becomes tucked away in my head somewhere.. it'd be hard for me to take them out to reflect or recount them..

was my forgetfulness just how I am, or a way out when I was young, and bullied? was it how I dealt? by tucking those memories behind? and if it's not how I am, why did it pervades to even now? It might be a good thing, but it's mostly bad because all I can see is the present and not the past which makes a person who he/she is.

like even if I blog about past experiences, which may help in recounting memories but the thing is, I don't really go back to read them because when I do, it sounds stupid, my past entries, but not enough for me to want to delete my blog because it's my keepsake. afterall, blogging does help me express myself and how I feel at that time somehow. it somehow is therapeutic to vent your frustrations and"bookmark"/share with people nice videos and stuffs.

haha.. guess everyone knows love hurts and wished there was a Lacuna Inc. sigh. love this movie and the artistically "colored"/set scenes. it was sweet he was running away with Clementine hiding her so she won't be erased from his memories.. and I love the OST of this movie as well, it just fits.. loved especifically Breaking Benjamin's Forget It.. Beck's Everybody Gotta Love Sometime. the lyrics are wonderful as it brings.. nostalgia.. I'd totally intro these songs in a later entry.

come September, I'd be 21..
the thing about such movies, it makes you a little melacholic which might not be a good thing for me..
I know perfectly that I'm indecisive, forgetful, emotional and always in a confused state as to who and how I am.
somehow a lost soul, a slow developer to catch on things.. Is who I am really alright or is it kinda pathetic? how do I change? how do I not be so emotional and let my emotions guide me instead of what a smarter choice is- that is, my rational mind? how do I get out of wallowing in self-pitying, be headstrong and always inspired and motivated, not brought down by life? how can I apply what I tell people/how I motivate people to myself? how can I bring myself to be positive, to see the lessons of things and say "I came, I saw, I conquered"? wish I knew. and I'm going to tell myself this year is a year of change. step by step.. a renewed mindset, I've got to! no more negative emotions. 1 life, I really want to live it happy.. ;)

thanks Sasha for talking sense to me .. tho it might not be what I wanna hear..

The flower fever winds that came and passed

2009-06-13T21:44:00.000-07:00

just finished watching Boys Over Flowers! =D all 25 episodes! Must say that it was great! How I wish I have a Jun Pyo or Ji Hoo in my life!

Hmm, right. Carry on dreaming Iris. oh well, here's some random links that kinda makes me laugh:

Kim Hyun Joong looks like a dog? (he does look kinda like one.. Aww Gawd. he's so cute and pretty!)
BoF F4 Cast's Childhood photos!

I must say I prefer this Korean version to the Taiwanese version! strangely, I could kinda relate to some scenes of the show, lol.. gotta love the koreans. I really don't know if I will see the Japanese version tho. cos same story leh.

anyhow, here's 2 videos (and lyrics) of 2 songs I really love from BoF's OST!

First is a song Jan Di sang during Jun Pyo's Birthday! Super nice! this version of the song I Don't Know Anything But Love is nicer than the original singer's la!
Second is Ji Sun's 어떡하죠 What Should I Do .. the lyrics just makes me wanna cry.. haha..

Melanchonic songs, they seem to strike a chord in me.. don't know why!
Perhaps I'm addicted to saddness.. lol. It's complicated.

I Don't Know Anything But Love

The moment you stood next to me
geudae naegyeote seon sungan
I liked the ways your eyes looked (at me)
geu nunbichi neomu joha
Though I cried yesterday
eojeneun ureotjiman
Today because of you
oneureun dangsinttaeme
My tomorrow will be happy
naeireun haengbokhalgeoya

Neither his face nor his style
eolguldo ani meotdo aniani
I just needed his tender love
budeureoun sarangmani pillyohaesseoyo
To forget all the time that has passed
jinagan sewolmodu ijeobeorige

I can now no longer do anything without you
dangsineobsi amugeotdo ijen
Cause I know nothing else but love
halsueobseo sarangbakke nan molla

~ lyrics continues ~
musimhi beoryeojin nal wihae
ureojudeon dan hansaram
keodaran eokkaewie
gidaego sipeunkkumeul
dangsineun kkaeji marayo

inareul eonjena gidaryeowasseoyo
seoreoun sewolmankeum anajuseyo
geuriun baramcheoreom sarajilkkabwa
saranghada heeojimyeon dasi
bogosipgo dangsini neomu joha

Ji Sun - What Do I Do 어떡하죠

You ask me how my day was as if it is same everyday
I say I'm okay but you really dont know how I feel
Do you think I'll be okay without you?
Are you okay without me?
The world without you is so hard that I blame myself for still breathing

What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me

Are we too late? Do we not have a chance?
I still think about you and you might know this
Finally is it this? Are we going to end like this? Is it okay with you?
I don't think I can do it. The love I find with you, I wont find it anywhere even if I die

What should I do? If it isn't you no one else can hold my heart
Please hold me. And you know that even though the whole world tries to
No one can erase your memories. So please hold me

What should I do? Even now, I live each painful days because of your words
Tell me if this is a bad thing to do
Are you living each day painfully like I am?
You and me

Is it too late? Do we not have a chance?
But me, I still think about you, and you might not know.

More vids!

2009-05-28T04:28:00.000-07:00

Funny

Cool

Weirdish

Gnarls Barkley - Who's Gonna Save My Soul from Chris Milk on Vimeo.

What makes us human?

2009-05-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

Haha, today I'm blogging about LOVE!

Came across the video below while I was searching for songs to feed my music needs[yeah, I'm relaxing a lil after my 3rd paper- Marketing, which I think I probably will fail..=( 3 down, 4 more to go!] =)

Posted this video up in Facebook then Jeff commented on it and while replying his comment, I got motivated to search for love quotes because I remember coming across this quote "As long as you have love, you still have hope".. Then while searching to see who said that, I came across this other quote as well which I heard somewhere which is:

""Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." -St. Augustine

now I know who said that quote! LOL. and then I read on more quotes:

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” - Neil Gaiman

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.”- Jim Morrison

I think this is rings true for many people who hide their sufferings, tuck away their painful memories, their emotions.. They pretend that bad things that happened to them never happened at all because it's easier that way, easier to forget. I do that too.. But I also believe with adversity comes great strength and understanding. Everything good or bad is an experience arising from your choice and we all can learn from it, and it'd shape you to be a better person, IF you let them.. But more often then not, we are driven by my emotions and it may all be too much to deal with sometimes.. =/ So it's really important that we continue changing our mindset, be optimistic, to hold our sanity because sometimes, the world is really a freaking hard place to live in..

(Random but right now I'm going to throw in my own quote (inspired by sociology LOL I think it's GOLD!) just cos it seems so relevant to the above statement:

"Alienation. Anomie.. What makes us human can make us inhumane too ..")

HAHA.. What I said above this quote of mine is what I've come to realise, but I'm still trying to apply/make this revelation something permanent in my life. I know I'm an emotional person. But someday, I want to be more than that..

That's why my To-Do's during the holidays is to read personal development books that trains you to better take control of your mind.. To stretch it. We humans sadly, don't utilise the full capacity of our minds (most of the times I have a lazy brain) I want to take myself to a whole new level and be a strong minded person not ruled by my emotions but by my mind. It'd do me good, because I know the value of a changing mindset, and of the mind..

I'd also like to read that book Ziquan lent me as well as books by behavioural scientists? I saw Lie To Me today on MioTV preview (it lets you watch 1 full episode as preview) and it was freaking cool how behavioural scientists read people by their gestures and facial expressions. When people lie, they exhibit rather stable patterns of gestures/facial expressions.. How cool is that? It' d be a freakin interesting read I think, a book studying on gestures and facial expressions.. Ahh, I'm sure it's available in the market but I'm too lazy to search for it now, so I'm saving it for later. HAHA. I hope I can get a hold of these reads. Maybe I'd read them when I'm in the US but then I hope my housemates won't think I'm crazy over these selections of books! LOL. HECK.

Ahh, anyway, while being a self-professed homebody during this studying season, I realised some things about myself and how I am in studying (OMG, after studying sociology, you just realise taken for granted stuffs!)

My consciousness of time reduces my efficiency of studying.
(esp after a full day of studying) "Oh XX AM already! So late, time to sleep!" seems familiar to you?
The habits just sets in, it's almost like a conditioning. An excuse.. Of course we have to sleep lah but sometimes during the studying period can sleep abit later to study what.. but after realising this, I seem to be in better control and able to focus more once I get past this conditioning.. Mealtime conditioning still applies though. (LOL)
My studying style is writing, visuals and reading.
Drawing tables, mindmaps and writing makes things easier for me it seems.
Dr. Or (my sociology teacher) calls this "active learning".. It seems to help commit things into memory more I guess. Discussions/interactions about concepts with friends/tutors helps too because it creates a memory. Guess that's why some study groups and peer discussions are advocated.
What motivates me is:
- My knowing whatever I'm doing now is for myself, for my future.. Now's The Only Time I Know
(my MSN nick lol)
- Friends' JIAYOUs (kinda pioneered by Louis LOL) and concerned smses/msges or mutual
rantings/complaints about studying (knowing other people are going through the same thing helps~
What's not helping is:
- Distractions whether shows, magazines or people
- Parents' nagging

I can't wait for exams to be over.. To a certain extent, now I feel so alienated. a stranger looking in on the world.. I want to go away to US to work right now.. To live life in a new country (although technically I'd be a stranger there too -.-) it's a form of escapism from Singapore. I'm really kinda sick of things here.. and I'm SO thrilled to go there because I know I'd learn alot.. Never been away from my family to work elsewhere before. so I know this is a damn valuable experience. I really hope God can see me through to be able to go there (hope the Swine Flu won't ruin things!!), to learn, experience the max I can and grow from it.. I hope I'd not be overtly homesick, hope that I can go there in one piece and back!! =)

Right now, I just gotta carry on studying.
Wasted one day slacking already T.T (but kinda need this because I've been really studying my ass off for the past few days. never did study or be focused this much).. sigh. UOL exams are so hard.. 8 more days of misery till its over!

AZA AZA FIGHTING IRIS!~♫

HOOH. How I miss blogging and its strangely feel good characteristics but...

Signing off for now.. =(

1234.. Dedicated to my friends, family and myself, all of whom I love ~♥ !!
(Really, thanks for touching my life, for your encouragements, care, love..
for accepting and making me realise the person I am, for sharing my joys, burdens and pain ~) ;D

More Vids!!

2009-04-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

"Man Is No Island"
"A story around every corner.."

Video Madness

2009-04-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to fellow Pebble-ian Roy for the great video recommendations! =)

The Cute/Funny/Lame:

The Cool/Sweet/Touching:

Music Video for Borne's The Guide song (This song is used in Operation Smile video)

The Romantic Valentine Make-up Vid and the make-up guru, Michelle Phan's site (she's gorgeous!! and I love her taste in music) and her chio friend's site:

Super Soothing Songs (from Michelle Phan's videos):
(gosh, I kinda got most of the Bossa n Roses songs. SO FRIGGIN SOOTHING~!! lovely ;D ...
Music's my dope!!)

Ituna - Don't Cry

Ituna - You Can't Always Get What You Want

Top Friendship Songs + Beanbags

2009-04-01T04:17:00.000-07:00

nowadays I can't even start on my revisions yet bcos of Birthday plannings and stuffs..kinda have a love/hate relationship with birthdays because I can't do a good enuf job for my dear friends. n also cos I got so sick of it (honestly lah) in makin em for cell..

sigh. such a pain.

anyway the top friendship songs links are available here:
http://top40.about.com/od/top10lists/tp/friendshipsongs.htm
will check it out sometime.. and in future if I get a house myself (LOL, so distant though) I'd wanna get bean bags for it.. and here's where to get in Singapore!
http://www.snugg.com.sg/

SIGNS

2009-03-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

Noteworthy Websites

2009-03-25T00:54:00.000-07:00

today's Digital Life has recommended some websites!
hence I'm going to blog about them as a keepsake so I can visit them when I'm more free!! =)
omg my inner geek spills from this. I copied the categories for easier reading!

Parenting:

Kiasu Parents
SG parents gathering to exchange tips and ideas on bringing up a baby!! from planning bday parties to feedback by parents on what works for their child! Great fornew parents and also a great reminder to them that their childhood was definitely more carefree!
Nymbler
Dedicated to naming your newborn. Baby Name Wizard may be easier to find on search engines but it loses points on originality. Nymbler lets you pick up to 6 names and generate other similar names according to your original choices! Click on a name to find it's meaning and its most popular name in the last century! Only for English names though.

Pets:

The Daily Puppy
Pictures of cute dogs from dog owners. Health-care and training tips on forum and dog videos to teach you how to housebreak your new doggie! =)
Lolcats 'n' Funny Picture of Cats - I Can Has Cheezburger?
Hilarious pictures of cat photos with funny captions !

Food:

Food Network
Watch full episodes of various cooking shows for free!
Epicurious
Treasure trove of information on food. Over 10,000 recipes listed! Food and wine dictionaries here as well. Check them to boost your knowledge on wine! People with problems deciphering recipes will find food dictionary useful. Defines more than 4,000 food-related terms so you can use it to check how to julienne or brunoise cegetables..
TasteSpotting
Pictures of delicious food and recipes from the web! Blog posts, news stories and videos buried amongst links!

Healthy Living:

Spark People
For dieters who needs support and encouragement from others to lose weight! Tools such as calorie counter, exercise tracker acvailable! =) Personalised fitness and diet plans for free available here!
Zen Habits
Daily tips on how to handle tasks like managing your finances, losing weight, making quick decisions! Cover topics as varied as finance, happiness, family and parenting! Some articles tries to answer life's big questions that bug us.
F*** my Life
For visitors who leave posts on how they're experiencing a new low on their lives.
While sites like Post Secret have people baring their soul and confessing their innermost secrets anonymousely, this is more of an instant-stres theraphy because some posts are downright funny! Feedback on posts can be read by author!
Fail Blog
Silly failures of countless people caught on pictures, videos for a good laugh.
(Kinda sadistic but humans sometimes like to laugh at other people's failures.. to make themselves feel better maybe?) It'd entertain when you have a bad day!
Oddee: A Blog On Oddities
From the 15 Stupidest Warning Labels, 20 Most Bizzare Mugshots to the World's Most Creative Buildings, Oddee tracks the weirdest, most quirky and downright puzzling mistakes made by men! For those who likes to read about strange and bizzare happenings around the world!

Data Managers:

Evernote
Free service allowing you to save typed notes, clippings from the Internet, images, audio clips and PDF files, with a 40MB upload limit per month. Enables you to scan through images and convert images within them into searchable text format, thus making possible for you to organise the disparate pieces of info via keywords. Best part is that you can then search for something by simply typing a keyword
Scanr
Convert images into PDF/text files.

Inspiration:

Notcot
Amusing and aesthetically pleasing collection of pictures that are not only pretty to look at, they are linked to other site.
Lovelines
Take a peek into the hearts of people around the world through this site. It lets you discover what the rest of the world's feeling through their blogs and Internet posting. It's done by harvesting feelings through analyzing thousands of people's blogs every minute, picking up lines of feelings, presenting analysis in the form of interactive page with sliders and charts! Displays pictures people take of things they love/hate with captions and it also ties in the feelings of the geographical location of the posterm providing a glimpse of the emotional health of countries.

Entertainment

Musicovery
Discover new pieces of music here! The cool thing is that you can explore the world of music not by regular genres like musical style, but also by MOOD, DECADE and TEMPO! =) Based on filters you've chosen, the service throws up songs that fit the bill. Allows you to narrow down your choices by using multiple filters, say dark, energetic, musical pop from the 90's or click discovery button to let them suggest any song. Good way to try out obscure bands!
Kontrabond
Hosts clips, jokes, pics and games best viewed when you're alone.
Newsarama
For non-fans who cannot follow a comic's plot, find out more about comics and comic-related tie-ins like movies and videos games here! Comic Book Resources offer something similar but this site makes everything easier for the non-geeks to understand. Weekly reviews of the latest comics, articles of comic characters, interviews etc.
Television Without Pity

Tech Whiz Sites:

Hack N Mod
Teaches you how to take a working product and modify it! Fun IT guide to reusing, recycling the geek way.
AfterDawn
Free software download alteratives from digital music players to progs that catalogue your DVD collection.
Lifehacker
Blog for people who want to stay on top of tech developments!

Wordplay

Urban Dictionary
Decipher teenage lingo here etc!
Save The Words
Save words that are hardly used (because it sounds very complicated) by promising to use them after finding out their meanings here.. because with increased word usage, you might actually allow decision makers to add them into dictionaries, thus "saving the word".
Alltop
Saves headlines of stories and groups them by topics. This way, you can read them and know what the world's thinking about!
OneWord
Using oneword, people makes sentences. for Inspiration for writers!
How to Clean Stuff

Know-it-all:

All About Style:

The Cool Hunter
Peek into the design world and see items with a certain polish to them. Images of fanciful items are listed and they're not only professional looking, they're ingenious and interesting as well, it showcases things you do not see every day!

Bookworm:

Internet Sacred Text Archive
From Christianity to Taoism, Confucianism to Zoroastrianism and Atlantis to UFOs, the Internet Sacred Text Archive hosts a collection of free electronic books covering religion, mythology and legends, folklore and the occult. They're not your modern fiction, offering scans of original books dating back to the 1800s!
Gocomics.com
Enjoy reading newspapers in the comic strips and laughing over them? From the popular Calvin and Hobbes to the classic Dick Tracy, comic strips are updated daily here and the free service lets you organise your online comic collection from the website! As you may not be familiar with all the comic strips available, there is a search function that recommends them to you, based on your preferences, from political, superheroes to plain old cat or dogs.
Project Gutenberg
Free electronic books!
DailyLit
Free public domain books in little chapters/sections that you may pick to have them send to yourself each week (through email) so you can read! A great way to stay in touch with the literary classics, and still look as if you're buried in work email!

Travel:

SeatGuru
Want to have access to seat maps of all makes and models of planes from some 80 different airlines? Check here to find out how to get a good seat! Good seats are especially crucial for long flights. You can check seat plans before selecting where you want to sit to make sure you do not choose one with limited recline or reduced legroom due to life-vest boxes. Check the comparison chart to find out which airline has wider seats and more leg room, etc! For more obsessive travellers, this website even tells you which seats have personal TVs and power for your laptop! It's so detailed it even tells you which power plugs are available at the seats, so you know whether or not you need an adaptor!
Tripadvisor
Reviews of hotels around the world submitted by regular travelers. You can get individual reviews and also an average rating of each hotel.
Oanda.com
Create a currency conversion table via FxCheatSheet feature to list the conversations for smaller amounts from 1 to 10 to big amounts of up to a few hundred dollars! It's wallet sized to so you can print, cut it out and take it with you! =) What's cool? you can choose to convert your currency using Interbank, or official, rates, credit card rates with a 2 per cent premium or rates you would get at a money changer. You can even determine your own exchange margin based on rates at your local money changer to customise your cheatsheet!
Gothere
A site created by Singaporeans for Singaproeans!! Provides bus, MRT and taxi directions. Know how to get from one place to another. It takes into account factors such as ERP charges and taxi surcharges!

Loving Love of Siam

2009-03-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

just finished watching a totally fab movie Love of Siam. really touching and innocently sweet movie about love, though it's not the conventional kind of love.. cried like mad man. my fave movie to date besides Slumdog Millionaire..

Here are notable quotes from characters of the movie and the Youtube commenters!
Quotes from Characters in the movie:

Mew, Love of Siam:
"If we can love someone so much, how will we be able to handle it one day when we are separated? And if being separated is a part of life, and you know about separation well, is it possible that we can love someone and never be afraid of losing them? [Or,] is it possible that we can live our entire life without loving at all?"

Ying: "It means, 'As long as you love, you will still have hope.'
Mew: "So, Ying, are you still hoping?"
Ying: "And should I still hope?"

Tong, Love of Siam:
"What if I choose one and you don't like it again?"
"I can't be your boyfriend, but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Letter from Tang/June, Love of Siam:
"I have been thinking. How will you make it from now on? But I believe so much that you can make it without me, because you have so much love for one another. Even though, sometimes, it seems to be too much that we end up hurting each other. But I believe as time goes by, we should agree that there is no such thing as 'too much love. Even if we made mistakes along the way, it's better than never having tried to love and be loved. Wouldn't you agree? Life always gives us opportunities to start over after we learn from our mistakes. I hope you take these opportunities and take good care of one another. Thank you for everything. I hope there's a chance that we will see each other again."

Random quotes from Youtube commenters in regards to the movie:

"the movie is too deep that not everyone can get. very interesting yet needs a better understanding. Tang`s disappearance, Korn`s depression, Ying`s acceptance, Donut`s desire for Tong`s attention, Sunee`s unbareable pains-acceptance-understanding , June`s perseverance, Tong`s identity crisis and decision making, Mew`s loneliness and cravings for love, Tong`s family`s lost faith.
like us, every characters in this movie is looking for real happiness. it depends on what path we will take and decision that we will make."
- djobkcg

"Love doesn't see, it just feels"
- ultrabite2000

"it's very hard go on loving a person who could never be yours"
- kimchupa

"We are who we are because the chains of unexplained consequence play their roles. So do you best at now and hope for better outcome in future."
- devilmirror

"I would totally agree. You have to accepted who u are first more of anything. Knowing what and who you are is the most important, because once you fine yourself everything will work its course."
- judasum

"the one thing everyone in the world should always have in mind is that no matter what happens, the one you love is the one you love and it's only between you and your partner or whoever... not anybody else. Sunee is Tong's mom, but at the end of the day, she's not the one who's in love. so keep everything between yous only. if the parents get involve, let them, but don't let it affect the relationship... ;) "
- pedroander

"I believe so. it is just so freakin bad that gays are undermined because of what other gays do. i mean the gays, who'd want to change their genders and even pay just to HAVE SEX, were thought to be the same with other gays who have just fallen in love with another guy because of emotional attachment. but still, even if it is believed that gays are HOMOsexual, i stand for the truth that the most vulnerable part of a human being is his emotion. and so, gays can also love women"
- adigenixt

Video and Damn Meaningful Lyrics of Love of Siam OST:

"Gun lae gun" ("กันและกัน") – performed by Suweera Boonrod (Flure)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5yVUhYGrgQ&feature=player_embedded
http://mr.xiaogou.googlepages.com/ganlaegan
"Ticket (Day Trip)" – performed by Chookiat Sakveerakul & August Band
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNujY-0rgzM
"Roo suek barng mhai" ("รู้สึกบ้างไหม") (Live) – performed by Witwisit Hiranyawongkul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2u3YVfbeX18&feature=player_embedded
http://mr.xiaogou.googlepages.com/rooseukbaangmai
ขอบคุณกันและกัน / Kop Koon Gan Lae Gan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX9sVNnmFtU&feature=player_embedded
http://mr.xiaogou.googlepages.com/kopkoonganlaegan
明月千里寄相思 by 吳鶯音
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS5bi0uH64Q

great movie, totally love the songs~! the lead actors and actresses looks great =) Witwisit's hot!

Life's perspective?

2008-12-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

today I'm walked around with a slight headache and sore throat and coldness..
haha..

stayed at home to lounge around and spent my time at my attempts to organise my schedule (next week super busy!) and then talking to Subaru about places to go in Singapore because... MY KUMAMOTO EXCHANGE FRIEND (Exchange was last time in TP!) MORIGUCHI-SAN IS COMING TO SINGAPORE DURING CHRISTMAS! yay!! =B shall host them..=D so happy it's like so unbelieveable. they're touching down on Christmas.. got the flight details already but don't know if they settled the accomodation. I recommended some homestays and hotel/bed&breakfast locations to them..and did some research ytd despite feeling horrible cos I was so excited!! MWA HA HA~

but I don't quite get why they want to come to Singapore to visit again (because there's really not much places to go), I'm happy they're spending it here lah but to me, Singapore is honestly, quite boring?! oh wells, maybe they're attracted by the cheap shopping and nice lights ? haha ! they should come when the IR is ready!! =@

anyway, earlier today in the papers I read bout Rui En's lifestory. and also heard+remembered abit from my friend bout his' life. After reading bout Rui En's story especially, her quote of "Never be a victim of your own consequence/family background" (something like that lah) is quite inspiring.. She was secluse about her private life but finally am upfront with it now. originally, she was leading a rather self-destructive life due to her parents' broken marriage and she makes choices that were not really for herself but because of her insecurity towards how others see her.. but she now knows what is important now and I'm so happy for her! On reading her story, it adds on to my perspective of life too, and I guess its also a good encouragement one can use for others..?

Like it makes sense. Everybody's imperfect. Everyone's family is different. If you're born into a complicated family background you can either self-destruct or be compelled to achieve greater heights so you won't walk in the route your parents did or whatever.. I understood her quote and I think she's brave in becoming upfront so she can be an inspiration to others. her quote/lesson of "never be a victim of yourself" may ring true to many people today because I think many people are a "victims of themselves"..

I also believe for those people who went through a lot in their life, they'll learn much more than those who lead a less complicated life.. because IF they manage to come out of their problems, they'll be MUCH stronger, sensible and all, they'll have with them enriching lessons of life that may further compel them to their understanding of self, of life and other people.. it's comforting if you think that way, but having said that, I also don't deny from the perspective of the person how hard things can be, how unfair this disparity in a person's life from others may seem (e.g. like the poor and the rich..) it'd be hard to think rationally in their circumstance because of all the emotions and hurt..=/ oh well.. I think after I die, if I go to heaven, I'd ask God about why there's the disparity. haha..

ok enough bout that. today, I also saw the American President Bush being attacked on the News (looks quite comical, haha..) and I also read about this touching real life story about child adoption! It's on a forum and it surfaced when I was searching bout adopting dogs from SPCA for a friend..
Such a meaningful story! =D

Must read!
http://www.sgclub.com/singapore/adopting_little_russian_104412.html

The News Today

2008-11-26T01:58:00.000-08:00

I just saw a piece of news and it was just insane what the world's coming to nowadays? it's about an artist who starved a dog for arts-sake. the most absurd thing I've heard. Charmaine will be damn sad if she hears this!! =@

here's the exerpt from the site:
"Last year in Nicaragua, a country with absolutely no animal protection laws, Vargas Habacuc paid two children to capture a stray dog from the streets. He then tied the dog to the walls of an art gallery, where it was denied food and water. The dog suffered in agony as visitors of the exhibition looked on. It allegedly died after several days.

The artist claimed he was revealing human hypocrisy, saying that people walk past stray, starving dogs without noticing, and only become concerned when one dog is made an example of. I admit that I could not agree more with this view. I have always marveled at how disconnected people are with animal suffering until they are confronted with it head on, as with Michael Vick and his dog fighting scandal. But to purposely abuse a dog in this manner is beyond vile.

News of this spread rapidly throughout the world, and a petition was set up in protest because the prestigious Visual Arts Biennial of Central American decided that the "installation" was actually art, and Guillermo Vargas Habacuc has been invited to repeat his cruel action for the biennial of 2008. Apparently there are around two million signatures. If you would like to sign the petition click here. http://www.petitiononline.com/ea6gk/petition.html"

somehow I too agree with the quote in yellow. but then again, if I was a visitor to the art gallery, how do I know the dog is starving or not? I mean I think I would think it's the art gallery owner's dog or guard dog or something..=/ but wah, the news is shocking. the stupid thing is they actually want to repeat the act? crazy lah. the artist is like an asshole, truly.

I googled about the artist and found from wikipedia this exerpt:
"In an interview with El Tiempo, Vargas explained that he was inspired by the death of Natividad Canda, an indigent Nicaraguan addict, who was killed by two Rottweilers in Cartago Province, Costa Rica, while being filmed by the news media in the presence of police, firefighters and security guards. Upon conducting a probe, the Human Society of the United States was informed that the dog was in a state of starvation when it was captured and escaped after one day of captivity; however, the organization also categorically condemned "the use of live animals in exhibits such as this." The World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA) also investigated the exhibit.WSPA found the information regarding the issue to be "inconsistent" and met with sponsors of the Honduras Bienal to ensure that no animals would be abused at the 2008 exhibition in that country."

I'm shock bout the case which inspired the artist, and also, I hope it's true that the dog did escape and it's okay.

Other interesting news:
A THIEF caught on camera stealing expensive equipment picked the wrong target if wanted to keep a low profile: a billboard company that has plastered his image around New Zealand's largest city seeking his capture <- funny!

Police see zero crime rate on Pacquiao boxing match (4:47 p.m.) <- interesting!

Chinese police on trial for interrogation killing <- not again..? =/

What About Now

2008-11-25T22:17:00.000-08:00

my initial intentions was to blog about the funny/interesting news I've read about on the Straits Times but upon scouring over Digital Life today to see what songs to download from the Top 10 most downloaded songs, I changed my mind instead and decided to blog about more meaningful things instead. it's also a personal reflection or sorts of how ignorant and selfish I had become.

I came across this fantastic video of Daughtry and the song is called What About Now. seeing the video makes me feel sad.. in a way, it was quite relevant to today. and it highlights the world's ignorance (as well as mine).. =/

the fact is, the world is ignorant. the number of assistance given to the poor/needy is no doubt not enough to meet the assistance required. I searched about the world hunger problem and the facts/figures and statistics in this site states that "Every 3.6 SECONDS, someone dies of hunger, Every year, 15 MILLION children die of hunger and for the price of one missile, a school full of hungry children could eat lunch every day, for 5 YEARS"

while I'm uncertain of how up-to-date/reliable this info is, I'm quite sure it provides a rough estimate to the unaccurate measured figures (I say that because I guess such figures are difficult to measure, I'm sure some cases are left "uncounted") and my thoughts after viewing the video is that regrettably, although we all know how very blessed we are and how unfortunate other people are, it seems like often, we do not really care. we're ignorant. we choose to put the fact that we can help them at the back of our minds- we are selfish in thinking, always so caught up in our own life and world.. drowning in our own little problems when as compared to other people in the world, we're so much more blessed..

it's true.. a large part of the world's population is ignorant/selfish. and even I regrettably admit that I am guilty of that. this video must be the final wake-up call to me to reflect on things because it made me realize how ignorant I have became. it's so qiao that just earlier today, I regret to say that I was selfish. on my way to school, I alighted a bus and there was this blind woman with a stick near me.. I saw her when I was alighting the bus and walking towards the bridge opposite of my school. However, I chose to walk on by although I knew she might need help at the staircase. part of me wanted to help her, and I knew that was the right thing to do but instead, I walked on, kinda pretending I didn't see her.. I felt like hell after choosing to be ignorant. I didn't even dare turn back to see how she was. I felt like I was doing a wrong because I simply chose to be ignorant. it's like you can help but you didn't help.

I am ignorant, just like the many other people in the world today. I wanted to do volunteer work, but I'm just sitting ducks at home. it's ironic though, that years ago when I attended a Campus Crusade event in TP, I picked up a tag (you're supposed to draw different tags from a box or whatever, and share what you have picked up. I forgot it's for what purpose) and it says "Make A Difference in Someone's Life". I remember at that time after I read the tag I've picked up, I felt special already..the words was so meaningful as compared to other tags. I was thinking "Awww!! this is fate! this is what I wanted to do for the longest time! and my picking up just further proves that I should go get my butt up to do something to make a difference!!" but hell, so many years passed and I didn't even directly make a difference in anyone's life? =/ my life is full of unrealised dreams and desires.

having said that, I really admire those people/associations featured (even those not mentioned) in the video. they are inspiring, they gave up their jobs, spent their precious time to care for the under priviledged. they chose not to be ignorant like their counterparts, and they tried to make a difference, even though there's no recognition, no reward.. imagine if most of us did what they did, we could feed the hungry. imagine if we could make use of those people who spent most of their time online (example: me) to do more meaningful/volunteer work instead- there could be less suffering!! but sadly, the majority of us all are just sitting ducks at home being ignorant while the world (the natural world which we're just eating away into its resources at, and polluting) and its people are suffering..

it's just sad thinking about it. if only we all should change the ways which we usually seek satisfaction (like through material wants, recognition etc).. what if instead we chose to get satisfaction from the knowledge/experience that you know you making a difference when you're helping others? that way, you can satisfy yourself whilst helping others too (and kill two birds with one stone) that would be great but it'd take a whole lot of brain-washing and selfless thinking..haha..

so what happens for me now after realising my ignorance and other people's ignorance..? I don't know. where do I start? I hate to procrastinate things I want to do any longer.. I want to be a go-getter and independent person, I want to slowly strive to be a better person, and be more conscious, less oblivious to things. I want to be appreciative of what I have and never be arrogant or proud, and I never want to forget that people elsewhere have it worst - I want to be strong, to preservere, having that "never give up" attitude. at the end of it all, I hope that in my life, I want to make some difference..

..aHh.. I'm tired..after reflection I now know where I stand and what I can improve or do.. I shall end off with the lyrics of What About Now lyrics and my random blabbering ideas I've got from the video/this entry writing (it almost feels like those times when I wrote poems again)..

Daughtry - What About Now
Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?

Now that we're here,
Now that we've come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
Baby, before it's too late,
What about now?
---------------------------------
The uncertain future
the future may seem uncertain to us, as we all inevitably worry for tomorrow,
what we'll do, how we've become
but the irony is we are the blessed who have almost everything
but what about those whose future seem even more uncertain for them?
the hungry do not know when their next meals will come, when they'll die,
the improvished cannot help themselves, who will help them?
are there any future left for them?

Can you still afford to be ignorant after being In their shoes?
It could be you and me, but it wasn't.
Count our blessings? Sleep, drink and be merry?
It is sad just witnessing/thinking about the dreaded circle of poverty
but if we do not sincerely put ourselves in their shoes,
no doubt, we'd still to a large extnet be ignorant, because we will never know what's it like to be them until we experience what they're going through

Different Rights?
haven't the poor have the right to lead a better life too?
we're all humans too. comrades in this world who're just born into different destinies
the poor can't help themselves unless they get assistance, after which, they can start helping themselves

Who are We? How different are we from them?
just who are we? how did we become what we are? why is there the divide?
it can't be explained. only God knows why..(and I wonder just what is God thinking when He looks down on us from above today?)
perhaps it's like what I learnt in sociology
society, the environment, the conditions we grew up in are the thngs that shapes us
we are not mere puppets, but society determines who we are
the poor leads a simple life and has simple needs, and little things can make them happy while the rich needs more to be satisfied

just how different are we from them? biologically? mentally? luck or destiny?
who will give them their rights?

Agape Love
unconditional love.
do share a little love with someone today, and grow that someone's life
spread the love, make a difference
before it's too late
because it's never too late

OMG!

2008-11-24T20:26:00.000-08:00

OMG !! I truly live up to my nick of Blur Peach man.
I actually left out Louis and Yan Li's photo in the Committee slide for the Fright Night video for MGM!! luckily Yan Li and Hanzhong told me. felt so bad but it's really blurness cos I did their collage already leh, just forgot to upload (cos upload one by one) gosh..=/

first the "Altogether" spelling error, then now this!!
hope nothing else goes wrong!!
sian lah!! I have to reburn the CD and reput the new link for the edited video @ the facebook page (cos I put a link for attendees to download the video for memories-sake!) so paiseh that the video got error HAHAA.
here's the new link!! -> http://ifile.it/c3find1
>_>...kua kua kua. trying to have things be perfect and do a good job but my blurness gets in the way. kaos.. and I haven't do my Law assignment or studied for my POA test yet!

time flies! was checking my mails + ordering the korean stationaries <3 style="font-weight: bold;"> Amos his money/clearing my debts) I'm beyond poor..=( oh shit. I just realised I haven't fulfilled my building fund..=@@ can it get any worst? studies like failing, money-wise I'm "pooring".. I MUST GET MYSELF OUTTA THIS HELL HOLE!!! oh yes, I CAN DO IT!

Fright Night Video FINALLY done! + Photo-editing programmes recommendation

2008-11-24T09:22:00.001-08:00

finally!! the Fright Night 2008 - One Night Hair Stand video is finally done!!
Joreen and I spent like 2 days doing the video like siao on Windows Movie Maker lah.. just for that 4.40 mins of show only >_< style="font-weight: bold;">Sunday, I gotta waste $10 to meet Joreen @ Starbucks to do the video, plus I had lesser time to do my law assignment that's due on Wed and study for my POA test this Sat!! the most retarded thing is that I forgot there's Marketing make-up lecture today- I missed it =( oh bummer. why do I keep missing lectures?? I feel like hell everytime I overslept/miss lectures cos I'm like wasting my parents money (Ben Wei calculated each lecture's like $50) and I am so lost already in my studies..

but I guess bo bian. it was worth it lah. . because:
1) we had to do it (this is what we signed up for),
2) it was closure and..
3) I think it's smashing! add on to the collection of work I'm proud of! LOL.

It's available for download at http://ifile.it/eozx4gd =)
I don't know why the slides are kinda pixelated though, so sad.. but I think it's smashing nevertheless ^-^ heh heh. my first attempt at using Windows Movie Maker! the programme is seriously like not bad for video making, great for amateurs especially cos it's user-friendly, but I wished it didn't jam so much (it jammed so much I think it's record-breaking already) and I was wishing there's more functions and flexibility..

for the slides we used Photoscape programme as well to make collages for the photo (as if they're neoprints). it was a great programme but I wish there's more varieties available on how we do the collage (the varieties they provide is not alot) ! seriously I never knew such programmes existed till Joreen told me. she intro-ed me Picasa 3 also.. the first is great for making collages and the second, polaroids I guess? I don't know because I haven't had the time to use the second just yet. wow, at this day and age, there's plenty of programmes (free somemore) around. to date, the photo-editing programmes I now know of is Adobe Photoshop, Photoscape, Picasa 3 and Photofunia.. if you have all the time in the world or are doing something sweet for your loved ones, I guess those that are reading, you can really try out these programmes ^-^ go google it!

on another note, today I watched Life Transformers 心晴大动员 @ Channel 8 after Dinner!
hosted by Quan Yifeng and Christopher Lee, it's about their and volunteers' helping of improvished families. today's episode was on a 30+ year old mother who's striken with some liver problem and are unable to take care of her 5 sons well.. her husband is an odd-job worker or some kind, fixing ceilings with $800/month income and her kids all quite young. she's got one son who's quite smart but is very naughty. he will pinch the mother and bully the brother ( he really bully the brother until damn bad lah, on national tv =[ ) but he's damn cute..haha.. he really looks evil when he angry. LOL. basically, the home's really run-down in the beginning. rotten food, lotsa things lying around, and the toilet bowl is damn brown (that I don't know why it makes me wanna clean my toilet bowl too? LOL)

but the volunteers from SP and the helpers are really damn good.. the house from so dirty can become actually more live-able that they make me wanna do volunteer work too. For the longest time I wanted to but then I don't know where to and it seems like I haven't really got the time (or is it procrastination?) - my studies already so like dwindling already.. =/ anyway, the heart-wrenching thing is that the mom really wants to work to lessen the burden on her husband but can't because of her health. and she don't wanna tell her husband she's in pain sometimes because she don't want him to worry, because though husband and wife should share things, she feels that she tell him only add to his worry/burden, plus he can't do anything (sounds quite rational, maybe I'd do that too) - so she suffers alone.. so sad and gan ren lah! this is called true love. they're like a poor family but they truly love each other. they're poor but the father works hard for the sake of his children (who're so cute)!!

from the show, it made me realise that health is really the most important? it's like for survival and also for the best for you and your family. I say that because without health, I guess you really don't wanna do anything else. you're just not in form. and without health, I would be a burden..

Man, the show rocks lah! it's different because it makes you realise how lucky you are+promotes volunteerism+what's really important..
Mediacorp should have more shows like this!!

and what other things rock my world recently? Korean songs! Korean pop is the next big thing!!
am into M, Wondergirls, Anyband's songs recently. have yet to discover more wonderful bands/singers.
must scour through Youtube le. MWA HA HA.

Wow.

2008-11-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

I'm so not studying again.
Took a Nap, Watched TV, Played Pet Society, chatted with Momo then slacked around.
and it was 12am already!
time flies so fast. I din even do my POA assignment that's due on Sat yet..

seriously I have no idea why I play Pet Society still. from the start I knew it was a lame game and I told myself I just try then quit but I'm still playing lah! (all Valerie's fault T.T) guess I'm so eager to decorate my house nice nice and also, cos I'm so in need of playing games or something? LOL. I miss all my RPGs, Chrono Trigger, etc. if only life is a game and we can travel the world that's so fulla adventure ah. instead of like, being stuck studying? -.-

anyways, I await the day I quit Pet Society LOL. I wish they give us more money to "give me a break" so I no need go on my "pet-washing spree" (machiam like car wash) to earn money. What I hate about the game is that bloody hell, each race only earns you 30 gold coins IF you win! only 10 coins more than visiting a friend! might as well go pet-washing right? >_> and the bank is not even a bank cos nobody will go there to sign up -.- so annoying! and the cafe is still constructing (wonder what's that!), and the new feature where the pets stand outside the buildings is disturbing because 1) it's not even that pet's house, 2) they all look so bloody happy, grinning from ear-to-ear when you click on them - like their soliciting for customers or something! gosh!

ok enough bout Pet Society. I'm here to complain about my laziness, broke-ness as well as to bring you news!!
let me start with the first. man!! nowadays I'm just so friggin lazy. don't know if it's the weather (or just an excuse) or what!! soo not studying but I really know I need to. what's the motivation that can drive me to sustain studying+the long hours?

secondly, I'm so broke!! seriously I think $50 per week allowance is so not enough.. I wish my parents strike lottery or I find a good job. why is it not enough? cos there's so many people's birthdays/gatherings (uni mah), there's so many wants, and eating out is ex!! plus I also wanna go visit Momo (but I can't save with that pathetic allowance)..

recently I've been good and NOT shopping online at all, so much that I forgot my POSB Savings account no. HAHA. gotta refer to my past records to find out what exactly it is lah.. that's something new! lol. ahh,and I've been lemming for things like that Purple Velvet Drawstring bag, and nice clothes (a Guess Bag I saw looks nice ^-^ and there's so many purple, satin thingies around in the shops!! is it because it's Christmas season soon?). so wanna go shopping but don't have the means. if I am working now, I'd just blast my pay on a shopping spree on Haji Lane stuffs or more expensive stuffs because I'm sick of all the online shopping la. perhaps you'd call this phenonmenon a shift of consumer's taste with age (POM!). ahh. I can only dream. now gotta settle my debts T.T I owe to Ahfong+Amos.. =(

anyways, I was online trying to figure out how to redeem my SunPerks points for the Beverly Hills Chihuahua movie before my pathetic SunPerks points of 900+ expires when my 2-year contract expires this Christmas. (damn cute lah, saw the preview here) tickets..but like cannot redeem leh! so annoying!!

and... I exceed my bill again!! =( mom might ask me to pay what I exceeded again (ok, am officially beyond beyond broke, poor as hell now) it's great because I can get new phone! YAY!! but I dont know whether to get a phone with Qwerty Keyboard (like Nokia E71) or a touch screen one (like Samsung Omnia or LG?) ..=/

Now for the news! today I speed read/came across news on the abused babies/child (so poor thing- kena punched by the mother and her bf- why do people even bring emselves to hit babies/children or others like maids or their spouses? I really don't understand. are they sadistic?) then there's a local news of the 3 white tigers that mauled the Malaysian Contract Worker/Feeder! think that guy was depressed so he jumped in because before he jumped into the enclosure he said "you'll never see me again" walau, so weird+eerie..

More news!
I got bored so I surfed elsewhere, and went to Stomp to read up on the many controversial stories (cos there was the link and related story titles advertised on the newspaper)! there was the funny (about people who dressed up with lizard heads, etc walking around Tanjong Pagar?), the sadistic (girl being bullied! Chocolate milk and cake are stuffed in her face and she was tied up by her peers! seems like the bullying is so common and hi-tech - bloody hell~ they're using camera phones etc to film it. those bitches.. hate bullies lah! soo like what's next? Snuff films?), the erhm-ohhkay.. (very open-minded girls..omg what were they thinking also?)

ahh. and that's all folks. I am bored so I blogged.
gotta go tidy my school papers now T.T and face reality of I-have-not-done-my-POA-assignment!! =@ NooOOo!

Broke and missing Momo! ='(

2008-11-09T19:42:00.000-08:00

gosh. woke up with muscle ache at my back and neck area..
was yesterday's Reggae that xiong?
my California Fitness 1-month free membership is like ending as of tomorrow already lah. sad.
just hope that Ti Tuan keeps his promise and help me book the complimentary Personal Trainer thingy man! =@ cos up till now, I don't know how to use the bloody machines.

anyways, this morning I woke up at around 10+, lai chuan because it was raining! SHIOK to sleep in more. I actually dreamt of Yoko. In the dream I noticed she came into a shop/this place. and when she turned behind and saw me, she recognised me and I gave her a smirk HAHA. weird dream. anyhow, so after dragging myself outta bed right, I ate breakfast, read newspaper and later went back to my room to check my sms.
OHH!! A sms from Ferlicia! but T.T it's to remind us to pay her $10 for an Editorial Birthday member's present! I wanted to die lah HAHA. because I'm so broke already.

I like owe Ah Fong $10 already + Amos $28 (for Val's birthday dinner.. really quite broke so I cant pay him back until my pathetic pay of $64 comes on 12th from CCI) + Cellgroup's Chalet ($29 for our CG's December Chalet, must pay next week already) + Building fund? kwa kwa kwa. seriously, like how to survive? not to mention Amos', Alan's birthday is coming up already lah. and of course, Christmas! which means more more expenses from going outs and Christmas exchange/presents for loved ones (if I'm intending to)! and then I gotta fork out I-don't-know-how-much to get materials to do Clara's card and our Dept head's card....T.T

I AM BEYOND BROKE LAH. how to survive! eat dirt ah? my bank left like $10+ (stupid earphones spoil make me so broke @_@!!) and dad only gives me like $50 per week when I ask from him? zhe mo ban? complain complain. I think I should cut down on going out on outings or whatever already. one more horror movie and that's it!

I still miss Momo she came online last night but I gotta go sleep already =( truly,now I finally realised how hard it is to not have a best friend by your side.. I used to think I am relatively independent (to be able to study alone, shop alone etc) but maybe I'm not? I'm feeling it already. the toughness of "being alone", with no exact one person to turn to.. I mean I used to have Yoko, then Pigeon then Momo as besties, but now I don't have anyone.. and although I can chat with Momo online (tho she's in Thailand), she can't be online all the time what. and of late, it seems like when I really do need her, she MIA.. T.T so recently, I ren bu zhu then I just blogged at my old blog to vent it all out... perhaps that blog shall be my next BFF. HAHA!

ahh.. on a sidenote, brand new finds (courtesy of the Straits Times)!!
❤ Sing Karaoke online for free @ http://www.karaokeparty.com/ !! they actually grade you according to practice your pitch and tone! of how close your singing is in regards to the singer's! damn cool lah. you need a mike though. so annoying that I haven't got any =( feel like trying it out LOL! but do it when you're at home alone or something or your siblings will think you're crazy?

❤ Bored of Picnic-ing at same old places like Botanic Gardens and the HortPark (going there for Editorial Dept's December babies celebration! =D) ? Now you have Marina Barrage, which boasts of outdoor fountains, a water play area, art pieces (YAY!) and indoor galleries! Hit the Green Roof that offers a backdrop of the Singapore Flyer, city skyline or open sea!! The rooftop lawn (yes there's grass on the roof! so cool right~) sits 13m above the ground, giving unblocked views..

How to get there:
there's free shuttle bus service that runs every 30 mins from Marina Bay MRT Station, operating from 8.30AM to 6.30PM on weekdays, except Tuesdays and 9.30AM to 6.30PM on weekends and PH!

.. ok I feel like a tour guide. that's all folks! time to bathe and get ready for school to do up that noticeboard!! =@ GAHH.. my assignments..... STILL NOT DONEEEEE T.T

Songs

2008-11-07T21:36:00.000-08:00

new songs sustains me man, on my torturous long journey to school so always, I've been "shopping around" for music.. today I'm shopping yet again after reading Smitten (Charmaine's) recommended Folk Music.. Suzanne Vega (I quite like her music awhile back) was recommended as well.

found this music video from Youtube and I think the video and the song made me quite emo .. it's about John Wayne Gacy Jr, (March 17, 1942 – May 10, 1994), an American serial killer.

He was convicted and later executed for the rape and murder of 33 boys and young men between 1972 and his arrest in 1978, 27 of whom he buried in a crawl space under the floor of his house, while others were found in nearby rivers. He became notorious as the "Killer Clown" because of the many block parties he threw for his friends and neighbors, entertaining children in a clown suit and makeup, under the name of "Pogo the Clown"..

apparently, reading it from Wikipedia (the excerpt is from there anyway), the police made a few slips and didn't catch him sooner.. sad. and then there was those victims who are unidentified, unclaimed, unreported missing.. why didn't their family report their disappearance..? =(( feel so sad for them.. there were originally 9 unidentified victims, but 1 was found..gosh. their reconstructed images are haunting man..

Updates!

2008-11-02T06:35:00.000-08:00

shit. this and last week was busy busy.
the upcoming weeks? gotta study study to do the assignments and get ready for the tests! =@

went ice-skating to celebrate You Yi's b'day and Geylang "touring" + dinner last Wed and it was quite eye-opening lah. saw rows of illegal prostitutes along the roads. all quite big breasted. like WAH. I've never seen SO many of them before lah. feel quite sad for them bcos there's so many of them. and I hear they're the "more expensive ones". the guys say there are also quite fat Indian prostitutes in Saris apparently. that's quite weird IMO.

Ice-skating was quite fun. I can ice-skate fast but I tend to be very like stiff and I can't brake so I bang into the walls LOL. and that day I got ankles-full of abrasions (darn!) bcos I wore ankle socks initially!! =( pain lah. sit cross-legged abit painful. then initially bathing was like killer.

there was also Fright Night + the CG's Halloween Party.
din dress up for Fright Night but for our CG's Halloween Party I did- dressed up as a rock student (wore White Blouse, Black Satin tie and Red Plaid skirt - Mom made the skirt for me with the fabric her friend gave her from Scotland!) because the theme's Back To School. I'm quite sick of this theme lah cos I hear CCI's Social Night also Back to School and Editorial D&D might also be Back To School.. overused leh! but ok lah, maybe I won't mind cos save costs and the trouble on thinking of what to wear? AHHA.

then I also went Badminton and SRC Day with the Editorial peeps.
I love them man. they're such nice people! (the seniors say Edis have the nicest ppl and the Sports Dept have the most fun people. think it's so true). Love Sew Ching (she's so funny!!), Pearline, Ai Ning, Hui Qin, Shu Jie, Zhen Bang, Zi Quan, Ervin, the Marcs the Macs.. LOL. got to know them better at the chalet and stuffs. seriously, I think Bryan did a fantastic job as a Welfare IC in bonding the people. R-E-S-P-E-C-T! lol. and I was proven wrong that being in Editorial, I won't feel at home..

gah.. I miss Sasha. today I didnt study much, and bloody hell today I spent alot of my time coma-ing, sleeping like a pig (from 1+ to 6pm?) then going online to play Pet Society ! my pet Momo looks more female wearing a red bow and an apron now HAHA. the apron looks lyk a white pinafore or sorts.

Pet Society is a lame game lah. I dunno why I'm playing such a slow and lame game. LOL. reliving my childhood maybe..? and walau, I can't get how my friends' pets can get so rich! racing your pet at the stadium will only get you 30 coins IF you win, and visiting your friends' also gets you so little coins! so why are they so friggin rich? I doubt I will ever be as rich as them to get so much nice furniture etc. walau! how did they do it!! =@

What-to-do on Birthdays (Headache!) neglecting the I-Need-to-Study Conscious >_>

2008-10-28T02:19:00.001-07:00

I just got back from working+hosting a group of Japanese students from Gunma, the Kanto region, !
these students are 17-year olds, students of the Kiryu Daiichi High School.

yep. It was fun - I visited Bottle Tree Park, learnt cooking (sorta) and I got to practice my Japanese again!
hohoho. Basically, I worked as a cooking assistant @ Bottle Tree Park (Khatib) and earned
$40, for about 6-7 hours of work! seriously the money came in time to last me for Youyi's Birthday celebration and present tomorrow T.T.. another fantastic thing is that the teacher also gave us a set of canvas bags (one big one small) that she makes each! <3>

All in all, I admit I didn't do much really.. a Malay woman helped me in much of the stuffs cos I was struggling and must've lookedvery blur.. (cos I hardly cook - besides my Home Econs lessons eons ago, and the occasional helping of my maid last time!! ) tried looking smart, like I know it all in cooking but I think I failed terribly!! T.T

Anyway, my group has 6 people - Tomoaki (nickname Kyun?), Hiroki, Anima, Mizuki and Misato, three guys and two girls who are 17 years old. they all looked so cute, as usual.. through this experience, I realised how much the Japanese hate dirtiness! they are ALL very particular about hygiene, to the extent they even bring their Dettol Hand Sanitizer while cooking! abit kua zhang lah. we have soap lorh.

one of the girls, Misato, look quite angmoh sia.. which kinda reminds me of the research I did for the Ainu Indigenious people yesterday as Canoco-san e-mailed asking for my help/view on the Ainu people and their plight. it's to help out in her university admission recommendation. (Canoco-san's my Okinawa friend whom I got to know through TP Cultural Exchange!)

I spent 1/2 my night yesterday writing the reply of my view of whether Japan should change from being linguistically and culturally homogenous (single, national Japan) nation to one that is more open to multi-ethnicity..(of course I advocated the latter!) for it, I referenced from what I did for my Sociology Presentation too. LOL. and just to not let my research go to waste, for any souls who's reading this and are interested to know about the Ainu people (the discriminated Japanese race!), here's the links!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%84ynu_people
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=endv3PVpXFg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYEhubSOtcI&feature=related
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/fourth_world/22057/3

it's quite interesting really. It makes me wanna know more about Native Americans, about other country's history, who owned this or that land before revolution/evolution/wars/invasions..etc etc etc. From my research I also found that the Japanese has Chinese gene! but I was too lazy to probe or like read the lengthy information. LOL.

anyway, back to the topic. walau!! I wish I can host tourists forever.. maybe I should be a tour guide when I retire.. earn money, touring the world while entertaining people and making friends. LOL. if only there's like an association where I can offer my help as a host. not only do I get the opportunity to meet people all over the world and learn about their language/culture etc, it's also like another form of training man (another form of training besides what CCI offers me)!! it'd push me to be thick-skinned (cos you really gotta speak up to converse with them. the students are soo shy)+ improve my public speaking and utilise my very very (kinda forgotten) limited Japanese language I picked up in Poly!! oh well.

hais. anyway I returned home quite early because the job ended early cos they started early!! =D hohoho. had my rather horrible (it's supposed to be Ramen? but too oily/spicy) lunch. watched TV, read newspaper, bummed around, neglecting my I-Need-to-Study Conscious. asked Qian Lin about the plan tomorrow. researched about Birthday Celebration ideas. we don't know what to do man. but since I was online I just did research anyway (out of point, but seriously sometimes I wish I'm the blonde woman in Criminal Minds who does research so fast, with her many computers in her dark room, to produce information at her fingertips for her colleagues - she's like the most useful character man, besides the kinda nerdy cute Genius) and I found out some relevant/hilarious cute sites:

It's Halloween and don't know/no money to dress up?
Consider dressing up as these, just for the fun of it! (I think they're good ideas really. as a joke or a conversation starter)
http://www.timeoutsingapore.com/aroundtown/feature/cheap-frills

Got the moolah? Rent these costumes!
http://mycostumecity.com/_wsn/page2.html

*** The WEARHouse! (PAssion Cardholders get discounts!)
Dress up as a Samsui woman, Indian/Malay/Japanese/Korean, a Chinese bride, a Bellydancer, Santa/Satarina, OR a Victorian woman this Halloween or for a themed party !! - IMO, the rentals are quite cheap!
http://twh.2ldenews.sg/costumeHire.aspx

Need balloons for that 21st Birthday?
http://www.creativeballoons.com.sg/walking_pet.php
(so this is where that girl got the walking dog ultra-cute balloon!!! I want one too!!)

20 Unique Things to do in Singapore ? (really? It's not very helpful)
http://www.visitsingapore.com/publish/stbportal/en/home/what_to_do/20_unique_things.html

Food Review/Friendster Profile (yes, a Friendster profile) of Hideout Cafe!
http://www.hungrygowhere.com/singapore/hideout_cafe/
http://profiles.friendster.com/53632706

More about Mount Sophia !
http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?p=20406741
http://sgpropertypress.wordpress.com/2007/10/27/creative-school-of-thought/
http://www.sinema.sg/
http://www.oldschool.sg/

Random Blog (but kinda interesting too)
http://www.theizu.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

anyway, to conclude, I suggested to Qian Lin:
1) Ice-skating (but not very appropriate?)
2) Night Safari (but not very appropriate?)
3) Visit Mount Sophia (YAY! it'd be suitable for Youyi, Amos and I guess cos we're into art/photography. don't think Qian minds though)
4) Go walkwalk/eat @ Holland Village OR Haji Lane
5) Visit Haw Par Villa? (not appropriate! HAHA)

SINGAPORE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TO DO LAH!! =(
actually these ideas are very "for me" and not Youyi.. basically what I want to do lah HOHOHOHO. other activites that are considered but Youyi/we had already went to is visit the Settler's Cafe and Mount Faber.

woo! I just received my **PAssion Card (http://passioncard.com.sg/pa/index.html - wow so many merchants listed under PA! muah ha ha), which honestly, I didn't sign up for. Mom and Dad got it as well..so it's quite weird. in the mail there were some vouchers that came along with the card and it was for Iceskating (how appropriate!!), Kayaking, HideoutCafe (it;s @ Bedok North St 4 only!), Rollerskating, JerkThai free desert, Aangan 1-for-1 a-la-carte dinner menu!! YAY!! but darn. vouchers only make me motivated to spend more to make use of it..>_>

on another note, receiving this card also motivated me to check up on courses @ CCs! but apparently, I can't find the site for the Eunos CC -.- so I gave up. no money anyway.. don't think I'd be signing up for courses this year, LOL!

Japanese Dramas

2008-10-27T04:18:00.000-07:00

As recommended by Hanzhong. shall watch them someday..!!

http://www.mysoju.com/change/
http://www.mysoju.com/liar-game/
http://www.mysoju.com/hotaru-no-hikari/
http://www.mysoju.com/my-boss-my-hero/
http://www.mysoju.com/seigi-no-mikata/
http://www.mysoju.com/the-queens-classroom/

those that seems interesting too (must watch first episode to see if should continue watching!):
http://www.mysoju.com/life/
http://www.mysoju.com/trick/
http://www.mysoju.com/gal-circle/
http://www.mysoju.com/last-friends/
http://www.mysoju.com/nanase-futatabi/
http://www.mysoju.com/proposal-daisakusen/

Today by CCC

2008-10-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today - CCC.mp3 - ccc

TODAY I’M LEAVING ALL MY TROUBLES BEHIND
I’M LETTING GO I’LL FOLLOW THE LINE
I’M HOLDING ON WITH ALL OF MY LIFE

I SEE A RISING SUN
WE’VE ONLY JUST BEGUN
TODAY I’M WALKING TO THE BEAT OF YOUR HEART
YOU TAKE ME ALL THE WAY TO THE START
STRETCH YOUR HANDS STRAIGHTEN THE PATH

I’M FOUND IN OPEN SKIES
YOUR HEART IT LIVES IN MINE
TODAY...TODAY...TODAY... TODAY
I’M FINDING MY FIRST LOVE AGAIN
I’M LEARNING HOW TO LET YOU IN I’M TRUSTING YOU

WITH ALL THAT I AM
THE SHADOWS FADE AWAY
IT’S YOU THAT CLEARS THE DAY

NO MORE RUNNING WILD
I’M YOURS FOR LIFE
WELL YOU GOT ME HERE
WELL YOU GOT ME

I HEAR YOUR CALL TONIGHT
YOUR HEART IS MINE
WELL YOU GOT ME HERE
WELL YOU GOT ME WHOA...

YOU DREW ME OUT OF THE DEEPEST SEA (WHOA)
YOU GAVE MY SOUL A SONG TO SING (WHOA)
YOU TOOK ME UP ON THE MOUNTAINS HIGH (WHOA)
I SEE MY LIFE IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT WHOA...YEAH!

Just NOT Made for Dancing ?

2008-10-12T06:59:00.001-07:00

perhaps if I had taken ballet when I was young (oh mama! why didn't you sign me up T.T), I would have the "dancing" gene. LOL! BUT its just so hard to boogie woogie, let it all go and coordinate your body movements! oh man. really hand it to the dancers (Samsam, Esther, the Mambo podium girls) who can groove man!

I went to Mambo @ Zouk last Wednesday and I was absorbed, trying to follow the dance moves throughout, gaha. it was a fun experience. wayy better than MOS (which I heard close down)!
I liked some songs but the club played some non-mambo songs too which I think kinda sucked because I would've preferred all mambo songs!! then I can learn more moves HAHA. =I ~and get the fullest mambo jive! oh well.

so today, I went with mom to sign up for her one-month trial membership at California Fitness Bugis. Mom signed up as a 1 month trial member for 40 bucks or so, and that entitles 1 free guest sign-ins. Dad (used Ms Tan's free 1-month VIP guest card) and I were the guests, so from today onwards we 3 can go California Fitness use all the equipment and attend all the classes!! today I was curious and since there was a class available, I attended it after the consultant was done with his nagging and hard-selling.. I attended aa Zumba Fitness session. It is a fusion of Rhuma dance, etc etc. it was hard to catch up man! I felt so silly doing those movements and I think I looked silly but I don't really care. a woman I chatted up helped me with the steps too. she's so nice. BAHH! I DIN EVEN GET HER NAME! shit. haha.. at some points I felt like giving up. I felt like I was dancing some kinda Bollywood dance man. I can't shake my upper body (ok boobs) for nuts though I myself command my own body. I felt like a headless chicken with bad foot movements! LOL. I spottted mom and dad sitting/standing outside the room waiting for me and I felt like a little girl learning ballet with my parents is anxiously watching outside. so paiseh lah. sadly, I can't even "do them proud".. and I danced with my red and white FBT attire (top & shorts). weird.

but it was all in the name of fun I guess. I am like so geared up to attend more classes to make my 1-month membership worth it !! =D haha. but sian! I would have to attend the classes alone =(

oh, today the consultant also measured my parents' and my body weight, fat, etc. Mom needed to lose like 20+ kg, and for me, I am like 5% over my ideal weight (darn) and would need to lose like 2.7 kg or 4.8 fats (!!!) or gain 2.1 kg muscle T.T.. my fitness score was 73 points (= good!) hehehe. my muscles are Normal, and my protein, fat and mineral (nutritional status) Normal. my arms upper lower balance is Undeveloped and my leg's Normal. so I guess the 2.7 kg which I need to lose/train is really from my arms and tummy lah. grr.

but I don't know how to use the machines! =( I tried using some ab machine and bloody hell, it was so hard. 5 kg weight s(the lightest) only and I wanted to die. the bloody thing can hardly move!! LOL. and the first time I tried it, I slammed the weights down (so paiseh!) cos I didn't let it down back slowly. I'd rather do crunches than that anytime lah. LOL. they also have the Fluid Diagnosis along with the test and that measures the strength of my body. my legs are much more powerful as compared to my arms man, and my left arm is weaker than my right (since I'm right handed) my Basic Metabolism Rate is 1397.9 kcal (for girls usually is 1800!! T.T) and my Body Mass Index's 21.8 kg/m2 (healthy!). my Arm Muscle Circumfrence (the measurement of my biceps area without fat) is 19.9 cm and my Arm Circumfrence (measurement of bicepts together with fat, bone & skin) is 26.9 cm..so my fats, bone and skin are 7 cm!! it was cool the machine can measure all those. I dont know how the machine works (does the measurements) lah. because all I have to do is just stand on it and grip two things -.-

Mom and I also went for the Steam/Sauna (they have such facilities! and they provide towels, lockers-bring ur own lock, tissues+facial cottons+cotton buds- felt like I was in a country club) and in the bathroom it was weird because I saw quite a number of naked bodies. OMG. from those fat women to those bodylicious women. I also saw mom's (cos she never put the towel properly) -.- it was weird man, even though I used to suckle on her when I was young lah. but as a baby I no "consciousness" hor. LOL! the steam/sauna sessions were really slow man.. was waiting for mom to nudge me to go out with her. I don't even know how long we spent in it torturing ourselves man. we went steam then sauna then steam again. -.- dunno why need to "steam" two times also. when we came out we were really rosy (esp me. I looked sunburnt) LOL. dad was waiting impatiently outside as any disgrunted men are when they're waiting for women. dad complained, to which mom said "you don't know women meh" .. SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR. HAHA!

today was a relaxing and exciting (the dance session) overall. the best thing was that I can spend time with my family I guess. it's been so long since I sat in their car. I also chatted about the Mambo, the K-session (how I can't sing chinese songs but tried). they are curious about my friends I guessed because in these 2 accounts I hung out with them till very late. LOL! we also chatted about Sasha, work, school, etc etc. it felt good to let them know how I'm doing.. =) I also found out Mom & Dad are going to sign up as a member in a CC to learn Yoga! OMG! lol. just like how Ms Tan and her hubby are lifetime members in California Fitness (they paid 3k or so to join as a lifetime last time. now lifetime memberships are like 7k! bloody ex!) a pity I couldn't join them (as much as I like to since that would mean mom's paying for me, most prob, heheheh) because I got cellgroup! T.T whyy.. but aww, so sweet! when I go work next time, when they retire, I'll sign them up for exercise classes (maybe lifteime membership even!) then they can tianmimi together in classes till old age! hehehe! anyhow, speaking of which, I can't imagine dad doing yoga, HAHAHA!

ohhhhhhh.. what a fulfilling busy week.
I was like so tired, sleeping so little (2h per day, for half the week?) but it was fulla first-times. first time Mamboing, first time singing so much K (technically second time. but first time I never sing so much), first time gymming with parents and dancing in classes..

next time, I wanna try the Yoga classes, the All Dat Jazz class, the Supa Street class and the Beach Body class! A pity there isn't the Contemporary Stage, Retro Dance Fever and Dance-A-Mania classes available at the Bugis Outlet =(

I'mmm... psyched!! now just gotta find time and motivation to go for these classes!
oh man. nowadays hotmail is bloody slow!! gahhh !!

To the Moon and Back

2008-10-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

today pastor preached about Breaking the Curse of the Debt..
it was totally relevant man because earlier this afternoon, I borrowed $20 from my younger brother!
damn pathetic I know, but I'm really that broke. I borrowed from him because I don't wanna withdraw anymore from my ATM, and because I don't wanna wipe out all my money in my ATM.. =(

thank God I can still ask money from my parents, or else I'd be really be beyond broke. however, I really hate doing so because they seem abit.. reluctant (?) whenever I ask them? so I better find a job man. but I'm fussy, I can't teach tution for nuts, and I'm worried that I won't be able to handle my studies and everything else.. these coming weeks I'd be busy lah because Fright Night, my SRC event is approaching! there's the chalet and the outings with dearest Momo as well.

The thing about online buys =(
anyhow, earlier this afternoon, two parcels arrived and they were my shopping buys. the first parcel contained 2 skinny pants and a top. bloody hell. I don't know I'm too fat or what. they're too small and not fitting for me. I felt bloody pissed and dumb for wasting money on such worthless online buys.. I don't know what to do with those bloody buys that don't fit. must fan nao what to do with them. it's such a waste and I felt really guilty for my already bursting cupboard.. they'd then sit ducks in my cabinet for months. although I wanna sell them, it's so mafan and I lack the place to do so. so I guess I should really really learn my lesson this time and curb my online shopping! really determined to put my money to better use next time, like to save for the future, to go on a holiday with friends or on courses for personal development (Language, Music whatever!) gah! anyway, the second parcel was the satin dress I ordered! now I have 5+ satin tops/dresses in my collection already, yay! the dress is supposed to be Satin Blue, but I don't know the seller cockeye or what. she said its satin blue- but it's obviously satin turquoise. -.- GAH. but it fits nicely lah so I really don't mind because I'm a fan of satin.. =I

on another note,today I finally filed my notes (except Marketing which is too complicated) and bought my long wallet at the Robinson Sale! it's so worth the money man. I finally got a wallet I like and can finally stop using my sister's!!

Random Thoughts
- Darren Hydes is gorgeous! He has long hair in the Savage Garden video To The Moon and Back and he's so pretty!! the song is beautiful too. it's a classic. I think I heard Darren's gay? such a pity...=(

- I thought about what I said to Zheng Bang in the bus today and I reflected on things.
and my take is that although criticism from people is welcomed, you choose your actions, what you want to be. ultimately, it's all up to YOU of course. society constantly influences you into your actions, but the individual makes the decision (okay, here's what happens to me when I take sociology! now I try to speak like a sociologist, lol!) .. in addition, if people dislike you OR they claim/say you are like this when you don't think you are, I feel that it's really alright because YOU know the truth, that you did no wrong, that you aren't what they say you are, and that the people whom you love knows and supports you, that's what that matters, because afterall, you are only answerable to yourself and God. having said that, on another hand, of course if you're wronged (sounds like the LP incident), it feels like crap. but ultimately, I believe one should try not to take negative things to heart because you and the people who loves you are certain of where you stand..people are not perfect, and not everyone would be kind to you and like/love you.. at this point I feel kinda enlightened. perhaps its my age catching up on me. I'm becoming wiser! LOL. but I hope this is not momentary enlightenment, and that this is something I'd always remember to keep a positive mind and heart! =)

- The above point was more relevant to life, but it's also relevant to "my enlightenment of how I view love should be".. to elaborate, I spoke to a male friend about BGRs recently. he's a ladies man, and he said a fortune teller once told him about how he might have troubles/issues with his gfs because he is a ladies man - his gfs might be jealous or whatever when he hangs out too much with girls.
at some point, I said to him that if I am his gf or whatever, I won't be jealous because if I'm really his gf, (but our "love" must reach a certain level first LOL!) maybe it's cos I'd like to believe that he only loves me and that his heart belongs to me. knowing him, I said that I'd understand he's a ladies man afterall, so putting pressure on him or blasting him for that is being unreasonable because some guys are just well, a ladies man! they are just more inclined to having girl friends, just like how some girls have have so much guy friends! and.. afterall, isn't love built on trust? and it's like only talking to girls lorh, not like they're flirting or what (that is too much already). . yeah. so that's my view lah. but nowadays it's hard to say lah! because guys are so hua xin and all.. and love is complicated and fulla uncertainty sometimes.. so yeah lorh.. and LOL, since I haven't had the experience of loving someone yet, so maybe when I do, I'd really would be jealous? who knows. it's hard to say. but that's my belief lah. GAHA.

Boy A

2008-09-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

submitted my idea for Project10tothe100s (@ Google) and watched Boy A today and boy (pun intended), was it a good film. it was heart-wrenching, thought-inducing melodramatic and very relevant to what I'm studying now, to Sociology and society, specifically Spoiled Identity of ex-convicts..

The Gist of the Movie
The story goes from how Jack, an ex-murderer (who committed a crime when he was an adolescent), is semmingly given a new lease of life with his release from prison. With the help of Terry, his mentor/counsellor, and a new identity that they granted him, he was able to see the "world" after 14 years (I think) in jail, get a job, a girlfriend, experience love/care and in a twist of fate, even be a hero - saving someone's life!!

However, there were signs stating that there are more to come. Newspapers had reported that an ex-murderer (Jack) has been released. The report was written not only because of its newsworthiness, but presumingly, to ask the people to beware of an ex-murderer who has been released as well..

To continue, Jack fell in love with his girlfriend and felt compelled to tell her about his true identity because he felt bad, hiding the truth from her. but Terry advised him otherwise because doing so would well, complicate things (society may not accept!) and it doesn't get "complicated-er"!! there's a bounty posted on the Internet for Jack!! (OMG). Gosh. so kua zhang.

and just when everything kind of seems "all too good to be true" for Jack, shittier things happen.
He got a call saying his services as a deliveryman was no longer needed. there was no explanation given, so he sensed something was amiss, so he called his good friend, who questioned him whether "it was true", that he is "not who he says he is". and so Jack admits, and his friend actually have the audacity to ask where Jack's girlfriend is and whether he hurt her (common lorh!) because she has been MIA.. walau. POOR JACK!

after that, Jack made several phone calls to Terry but it didn't go through, so he left the house and found the media outside, waiting to hound him. In a desperate attempt (omg I feel lyk I'm writing a compo or something, HAHA!), he escaped from the media through climbing from the roof to the back exit. He then took a train to as far as it would take him.. and in his life's most desolute moments, ended his own life (I presume).. =( cos in one way or another, everyone Jack knew abandoned him or questioned him (I guess it was because of he lied about his identity). it seems like he had no future. It was so sad because it was obvious what a nice and mellow guy he was and is. he just had the wrong company and environment! It seems so unfair.

Anyway, here are some extracts that I highlighted in red that pretty much sums up my thoughts and admiration for Boy A's cinematography/works.

Admiration for the way it was filmed- its cinematography. Brilliance I would say!
From http://www.boston.com/ae/movies/articles/2008/08/08/boy_a_considers_crime_and_consequences/
Boy A" is visually stunning. The interplay of light and shadow through the use of diffusion filters and silhouette gave me chills. The dramatic manipulation of white light is a seemingly simple device but cuts to the bone.

Ironic scene I identified
** Spoiler Alert!
Before Jack's desolate last moments (I presumed he committed suicide by jumping off cos he was perched on top of a railing of the sea and he was crying), a Kind Old Woman who awoken the sleeping Jack (after he fleed his home and boarded a train to as far as it would take him) said:
"You're at the end of the line, sir, this train doesn't go any further"
~ hidden meaning- given the situation, he really has reached the end of his life for everyone seemed to abandon him. he was fired, his SUPER nice and fatherly mentor/counsellor Terry MIA-ed, his friends questioned him and made no attempt to care for him, his girlfriend (who ignored his calls, tho he met her before he *I presumed* committed suicide)

Boy A is about a quite different sort of criminal, a victim of fate rather than a dynamo of ego and will. By coincidence this film, which is fictional, also takes place in Manchester. A twenty-four-year-old man, now called Jack Burridge, is trying to start his life again--really for the first time--after a fourteen-year prison term. Through much of the story we know he is an ex-con, and we are led to think that, as a boy, he stole cars and went for joyrides. Yet we eventually learn that when he was nine he was involved in a much more serious crime. When we see it, we shiver at how easily a child could slip into it. (Boy A is what he was called during the trial.)

Scene I cried
It was the scene where before he fleed his house, he took an envelope. It was from the little girl he saved and it was a drawing she drew of him depicted as an angel. She had thought he is an angel when he saved her (SO SWEET!) He opened it before he "died".. the ironic thing is he was deemed a hero a period ago and then a murderer (though it's the past) next. the sad thing was that society overlooked the part that he has turned over a new leaf? Common lah, if he didn't would he even bother saving the little girl? Anyway, here's what the little girl drew that accompanied the drawing:

To Jack Burridge
Thanks for saving me
This is your halo
This is your wings
This is the knife
I thought you're an angel

Other film references: Lion for Lambs/Dead Men Walking

Other adolescent crimes:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/23/us/23oxnard.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Bulger
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Bell http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sakakibara_Seito

My thoughts towards this film
1) MAN! SOCIETY IS RETARDED SOMETIMES! Society gave him a fresh start (he was allowed a new identity and he chose Jack), but ironically, it wasn't really a FULL second chance cos people are just so not acceptive towards ex-murderers.. they just pushed him to his desolate.

2) Jack's childhood is afterall, one of tragedy and neglect, sending bullies to abuse him and a bad companion to lead him astray, and making his ultimate victim insulting and unsympathetic. ww.nj.com/entertainment/tv/index.ssf/2008/07/boy_a_weighs_issue_of_how_much.html

I think the crime he committed was really retarded and TOTALLY unnecessary. It was also damn silly. his friend is in a way, really psycho! what he needs is anger management!!

I felt that Jack could've not participated in the crime though. You can see it in his face that he knew it was wrong. but he went ahead (that was a bad personal choice!!) to be a partner in it.

I think society/the people you choose to hang out with, really shapes you. It's just how inclined you are towards the influence, and how much of that you take in.
For me, I do sometimes speak/act like the people I hang out with.

I think the environment shapes an individual as well. There are just some common characteristics of criminals such as: being abused in a young age, the prevelance of violence in their lives, abandonment, etc etc. However, I do not deny there are people, despite being not exposed to this, commit crimes. It's like how I believe in God (the good), I must also believe in the other (the bad).

Speaking of which, I support the Yellow Ribbon Project! haha.. really liked the ad of the guy with the tattoed back with a post-it pasted there (think it writes Criminal/Convict or whatever) and he's trying damn hard to take it out. It shows how hard it is to get a label pasted on your back and wow, it talk about the underlying meanings that pictures can show =)

Can I quit going online so often?

2008-09-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

I wished I had more time to study! =/ gah.
I promise to stop going online so often, especially when Sasha don't have internet anymore and when she's in Singapore! (cos I really wanna talk to her and the only way possible is online)

cos I seriously find going online as a waste of time that I can better spend elsewhere..but its SO darn hard to quit going online lah. its' like an addiction. and also, sometimes there's work to do online (i.e. research+SRC stuffs).. also, I dont like piling junk mail in my email inbox.. =/

oh well. sites to take note of (for myself basically) and to dos/what I'm looking forward to!

Food guide site for food-tasting/gathering organisings:
http://www.timelessfacade.com/

♥ ♥ Looking forward to..
- ~~Holland Village Meeting~~ ~~with David (CAN VISIT FOS !!)~~
- ~~Outing with Editorial peeps~~ ~~on Wednesday!~~
- MAMBO for next next Wed! =D
- Momo's Return!! =T
- Time spent with Peach family again

♥ To DO's!
- Do my Fright Night Draft Proposal and Poster!=(
- Do my homework(s)
- ~~DL The Lard Brothers' Music and the recommended Music for my Music fix!!~~
- ~~Visit those sites I wanted to visit!~~
- ~~Watch The Island (this Sunday)~~
- Visit Plaza Sing's Daiso and Spotlight (to get art supplies for my shoes) and also, Mount Sophia (for the exhibitions)!!
- Visit Haji Lane (never go before) to window shop!
- Watch The Exorcist The Beginning when it comes out!

Unlucky Day

2008-09-22T10:57:00.000-07:00

today is my SUAY DAY!
I went town for the Editorial Chalet meeting after the Photoshop Workshop which ended at 5pm despite feeling tired because I lost the scissors-paper-stone game with Yi Mei! (cos I couldn't decide to go anot and resorted to this) I din wanna go because I was feeling abit drowsy (as always) and wanted to go home to rest. but I felt compelled to go too because being lazy is not a good reason. more importantly, for some reason, I thought I was in the commitee when I'm actually not (more of that later). so I went to find Maybelin, Joyce and Ben Tan to shop around Far East. All in all, I only bought a belt for $3..couldn't find any thing(s) I really wanted.

at 7++, I bid my shopping buddies goodbe and walked from Far East to Dhouby Ghaut to meetup with the Editorial people. it was damn far lah. I went TAKA alone to check out the wallets too and though I kinda wanted to take the bus, I stopped myself. so having walked the full length, I now FINALLY know Orchard Road! but damn suay lah. I kena bird shit on my jacket. at least I think it's bird shit.. either that or is those cookies and cream ice cream.. HAHA? I noticed the jacket had the stain after taking it off my shoulders (I hung it around there and didn't wore it cos too hot.. so in a way, I saved my back/bag/hair from getting "shitted"! =@ )

SO THAT'S SUAY THING NO.1. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!! I couldnt find the bloody eating place cos its at Dhouby Exchange. sian lah. why can't it be in a more prominent/normal eating place? -.- so my feet was killing me (cos I wore wedges. din know I'd end up gg for the meeting/Orchard Road or else I wouldn't wear my new wedges! wanted to go home but my friend ZQ say I was in the Food Committee, so I felt compelled to go. BUT APPARENTLY I AM NOT EVEN IN THE COMMITTEE!) and I was irritated cos I cant find the bloody place. Initially, I went Plaza Sing to clear the bird shit (its not very big lah) at the toilet. then I went directly to B2 to link to the MRT station. but cannot find the eating place still..almost cried man. I was at my boiling point. later on I went to PS outside the MRT to look for the eating place, but still don't have!

so I called Ervin and ranted..cos they tell me it's not NEL line it's the other one . but I dont know where that is lah. after that I hastily put down the phone on Ervin (cos I was irritated) to say I'd find the place. but I really couldn't =( after awhile, ZQ missed call me and I called back to tell him I can't find the place. and so he said he'll come fetch me and asked me to wait at the bus stop. which I did. then I saw Dhouby Exchange and I felt bloody stupid man.

AND.. just when I thought the night couldn't get worst, I almost lost my wallet.
cos I left it at the restaurant. then the restaurant personnel call my senior friend Bryan up (cos he booked the place).. he told me about it but I was already on my way home and in a car. then I kinda begged him to help me go back to take my wallet. he did and I'm bloody thankful lah! lucky sia. or else.......... going to Orchard will TOTALLY be not worth it. bird shit, almost losing my wallet and all. and its not even my wallet. its my sister's. cos I dont have a wallet. I always wanted to go get a new one but no time or I cant find nice ones! -.-

GAH.
May tomorrow be a better day.

Swing KPE! + News!

2008-09-14T02:36:00.000-07:00

Starting Point of the Swing KPE! Run. loads of people were late!

Joyce and me!

Families, young and old, everywhere!

Angmoh entertainer riding on a tricycle and playing a saxophone!

Performers in the KPE Tunnel

Joyce and Qian =)

Joyce and a scary-looking me

Artistic photos I took! MWA HA HA.
this door reminds me of Resident Evil/movies stills I've come across before. I don't know why.

FINISH walking 5km! =) YAY!!
A sense of achievement, no doubt.
The certs and goodie bags were like free in this event -.- haha.

A very touching sight! 2 elderly women who held hands and walked/waddled slowly!
1 walked with a hunch on her back! =T I didn't take the photo of them walking and holding hands =( but I went back and pretended, but am secretly taking photo of them when they are not looking (however, they're not holding hands already) .. I MISS MOMO!
Charity Car Rides begins! owners of vintage/antique/sports cars drive underpriviledged kids! =)
everybody, go awww~

wah lau eh.

And now, for the news!
What's on the news these few days/today!
- Hurricane Ike in Texas
- Typhoons in Taiwan
- Political Instability in Thailand
- Today there's another case of Adults posing as children again!
Mum Wendy Brown, 33 from the US posed as her daughter to be a cheerleader.. is she reliving a dream or what. The first case I read about was about Neil Havens Rodreick II, a 30-year-old sex offender who was sent to jail for posing as a 12-year-old boy FOR 2 YEARS (!!! SO INSANE) , to enrol in schools!! ) He was actually not caught for 2 years. wow. reminds me of the dad who fathered his children and kept his children underground for years..

What I learnt on the news:
- Lee Kuan Yew: Philanthropy = the rich giving the poor a leg up!
- Ring Tabs from your canned drinks are collected in Thailand for The Prostheses Foundation of H.R.H. The Princess Mother. they can be melted to make prothestic arms for people. so start collecting ring tabs today!! =)

First pair of Sports Shoes at Age 20! + Weird Man On Bus! + New Aspirations!

2008-09-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

At age 20, I finally got my first pair of sports shoes! thanks to Eugene, Grace's bf =) and it looks great too. It's New Balance! damn affordable price I bought it for too!

Shun bian take photo of shoes I bought from Jenny. hehe. it'd add 10cm to my height! MWAHAHA. now I can be more niu ren!! =T

Weird Man on Bus !

n the bus I witnessed a weird man. I think he's mad!!
it was quite crowded. it's those kinda buses where there's standing space in the middle. then got this china mom and granny with two kids in tow. the mom was holding one kid while the granny held on to the other kid and they were standing near the door. I was standing in the standing space. HAHA.
at some point the girl whom was held on by the granny said she wanted to sit, then got this nice lady who was nearest to her and facing the door very zhi dong. like wanna let her sit.. but THEN! got one malay man dunno what he doing.. he block the steps/walkway into the back and SAT down on the walkway opening and made funny faces, then he closed his eyes, still making funny faces..(I don't know where he came from. I noticed him sitting down at the entrance opening and making funny faces. I don't know if he knows what he is doing?) but I think he was trying to stop the girl from getting to the seat.

I was thinking "what the hell?". think some people in the bus noticed and stared at him. I stood bewildered. but I tried not to look at him so much cos I scared he's mad and suddenly attack me or something HAHA (to abnormal people, that's the best thing to do, it seems- avoid staring at them). the mom didn't notice I think. if I was the mom I'd be so irritated but I guess I can't do anything also (cos he may be mad leh!) then after that ppl gotta alight, so he bobian stood up and let them pass. so the girl got her seat at last!! (YAY!) and so did him..-.- before he went off, he actually waved to don't know who.. I don't even know if he knew anyone in the bus.. GOSH. Is he mad or something? why did he do what he do. somemore it's towards a girl and a granny leh. walau..

why do people like that exist in this world?
there's many strange people out there, it seems..don't know what happen to them, but it's quite sad really..

Anyway, new and ambitious aspirations I have:
- To quit going online so much and focus on my studies.
- To use my time on working part-time instead, for more income, and to fund my long unfulfilled wishes- to learn a foreign language Japanese/Korean/French (Japanese priority of course), to learn guitar+piano (maybe), and perhaps art courses as well..
- To be able to concentrate on my studying
- To work in the advertising/marketing industry, and to work overseas
- To be someone, so I can be able to make a difference, and motivate others to do the same!
- To put THAT bag idea I thought of in the market
- To be happy and marry before 30

LOL. the end!!

Verdict of Clinic visit - wouldn't count on it to save lives + Review on memorable clinic visits and meds

2008-09-10T23:44:00.001-07:00

just got back from the clinic.
OH LORD. it was sucha bloody long wait!!
so I went back to my house to rest after registering my name right (I was no #12 in the list at 2.30PM), and at 3.20PM, when I returned, the receptionist said there was 6 people before me.. so fine, I waited, but I didn't get to see the doctor until like 4.10PM!! which means about 1 hour++ of waiting time!! Imagine if I'm some very sick, very feverish patient, I would've died in agony of waiting, perhaps I would have even fainted..

gosh. the first 30 mins of wait felt like 1 hour. I was exceptionally impatient because only 1 patient (!)went in to see the doctor during this 30 mins! must've been some LONG checkup or something because after that patient, things were faster. however, I would say that the clinic is STILL very slow in operating. even the medicine is dispensed slowly to the patient. at the end of it all,boy was I glad to be back in my home sweet home!!~

during my long wait there, I was thinking that maybe I should've went to my mom's office to see the doctor because it would've been faster, but nah, it would mean I'd have to stay at her office till dinnertime!! T.T and it'd also mean there's no bed for me to lie/rest in..

oh well. anyway, here's my verdict of the clinic (just for fun):
Decor: 1/5
(non-air conditioned, to save costs I presume, had quite rundown walls and seats. no television to entertain bored patients)
Consultation: 4/5 (the female doctor was friendly)
Waiting time: 1/5 (damn long wait lah! even my maid says so)
Misc: 2/5
(1 mark for a cost breakdown slip which states the consultation costs and each medicine costs, and how many pills was prescribed. something I don't see in other clinics I've visited for.. )

Comments/Verdict: Wouldn't count on this clinic to save my life.
Will avoid this clinic for the long wait. Plus point for cost breakdown slip!!

Cost Breakdown Slip:
Consultation Fee: $20 (think this is quite standard)
Medicines prescribed:
Eye Oinment $4,
Fever Med. $2 for 16 pills (lasts me for 2 days!),
Antibiotics $9 for 10 pills (lasts me for 5 days!),
Swollen Med. $2 for 10 pills (lasts me for 3 days!).
Subtotal: $37
Fee Adjustment: $10
Final Fees: $27!!

and now. my review on memorable clinic visits!
*Time when I was the sickest/weakest:
When I had dengue fever in Poly Year 1!
Was hospitalised and felt damn sick and weak. can't bathe, felt so restless (sleeping all day) and had to face so many blood withdrawals and blood pressure taking (that my veins shows)..
*Favourite Medicine:
The sweet thing the nurses feed us before we get injections in Primary school.
*Most Hated Medicine:
Powdery medicine that is so big they threaten to choke you! And also chinese medicines/"good for your health but looks/smells/tastes so darn strange/bitter" brews parents feed you with
*Most Mafan Medicine:
The liquid kinda medicine because you have to use a spoon, wash it and keep the bottle away from ants.
*Most Embarressing Clinic Visit(s):
1) Cos I go to the toilet (to pee) too much! And also 2) when my breasts ached.. both were damn retarded, esp the latter. Mom actually bothered to bring me to the doctor over such retarded "ailments" - what about nowwwww when I'm real sick!! >_> GAHHH! anyway the doctor actually prescribed medicine for the former which I love to stick under the table. the medicine was yellow and sticky and looked lyk a yellow gummy bear!!
*Most Hated Sickness Symptom/Effect:
Flu (cos it's so annoying. have to keep clearing your nose and there's also the hardness of breathing) and Vomitting (cos you vomit your "guts" out. food goes in so easily but when it wants to comes out, it's harder!)
*Most Scary Feeling/"Ailment":
when I fell asleep one day and rested too much on one side of my ear (thereby increasing the pressure there so much).. and then I woke up in cold sweat with that ear feeling like "lava is flowing out"!! was soo afraid I'd go deaf man!
*Most Common Ailment I had when I was young:
The "Nong" red thing that grows on your eye or whatever because you're too heaty. mom will pop it for me.

I hope I get well soon before the Swing KPE Run!
Maybe I'd go there to walk if I feel well enough!

heaty sick

2008-09-10T23:44:00.000-07:00

ahh. I'm heaty, with some kinda small red growth in my left bottom eyelid and I'm sick.
been so long since I fell sick.. and it's such a tremendously sucky timing lah because my Swing KPE Run's this Sunday and my Sociology's test next week!! I don't even know if I'd go for the run eventually.. I don't think I can recover that fast bah.. maybe I'd walk all the way or somthing, I don't know.. I'd see if I recover fast enough. I really wanna participate in Swing KPE man because it's such a special run (running inside a tunnel leh!! with a latern to break a Guiness Record! I mean how often do you get to do that?) and furthermore, it'd be my first marathon and 5km only. actually, I don't know if I can tahan a 5km run because 2.4km I wanna die already.. but 5km is still better tho, then the 10km runs that's so common in marathons (10km I know I can't run!!)

GLOOM. I haven't even started studying yet.. wanted to these past few days but I totally lazing, slacking (watching the taiwan drama You're My Destiny) or doing photoshop for my friends. last night, because I felt rather sick, I attempted to sleep early at 12 - 1 AM (!) after doing some photoshop.. but I couldn't get to sleep because I felt cold. must wrap myself up with many blankets then I can sleep (although I shouldn't do that cos that will make me heatier). today, in a record-timing, I woke up at 8 plus!! with fever, headache and a bad cough. it was so bad that when I cough my throat just hurts like hell. and I went to read newspaper for a bit before I dozed off at the sofa, deadbeat.. woke up at noon again, ate, bathed, spoke to a troubled friend and my parents on the phone..

when I called mom and dad to tell them I'm sick "to seek permission to go visit the clinic" (cos I want them to pay for my visit to the clinic leh! haha) but they seem so busy and not bothered. mom asked me to go to the office to visit the clinic there, and I told her "can I visit the one downstairs our house instead?"

to which she replied "I don't know you lah" then she kinda hung up. ohh man. I really hate it when she does that. I mean if I'm a mother, I won't do that to my daughter lah. would it kill her to at least show some concern? at that moment I just felt so pissed I cried a little. It doesn't make sense lah! I'm sick so of course I don't want to travel so far to your office there JUST to visit the clinic (she said I got a record there that's why) when I can just visit the one downstairs our house, you know. gosh.

so I called my dad and at least he was abit more understanding. he also suggested I visit mom's office that clinic but when I told him I wanted to visit our house downstairs one he said okay lor, although he still sounds busy.. but at least he's not so rude, like my mom. I think from now on, I really should just ask permissions from my dad..-.-" totally ask wrong person liao, gosh.

today is another wasted day, it seems, cos I'm sick and down with a headache. later on, I'm gonna go downstairs to visit the clinic at 3.20 PM. left my name at the reception and told them I'd be back later since I live nearby (the clinic receptionist was totally okay with it). anyway, I'm like the 12th person in the list and I registered at 2.30 PM! so one hour for the 11 sick peeps before me should be okay ba.. =T gonna bring a book down to read and wait my turn later... I HOPE I CAN GET WELL SOON!!! hate being sick!!

Weddings, Crushes and "It's Complicated"

2008-09-08T01:09:00.000-07:00

just came back from a wedding banquet (yes I went to a stranger's wedding- dad's colleague) on my birthday..haha. It was held at the Swissotel "Collyer" Grand Hall.
quite a classy place, the food was great but served a tad slow leh. we reached home at 11.55PM, just enough time for me to cut cake (a Teong Birthday tradition) with my family.. 5 more mins to the end of my birthday lah! so heng. and my mom was complaining alot. I came home to a grouchy looking mom, with her tired looking face and nightgown. she said she waited very long. but it's not our fault what. the food was slow, what to do?

Food-wise, there were 9 dishes (got miniabalone!)
Random comments wise - the groom is 30 plus years old, reminds me of an actor, the bride looks kinda matured and her breasts are damn big! I don't know if its the corset or what.. she makes me want to wear a corset too (I am lemming for one actually but it's not a need. and it's not cos of this factor also) hoho. somemore can surpress my inflated stomach (hohoho).. *ahem* yepyep.. SO after the celebration, my family went off into their own "before-bedtime-activities". I didn't really eat the cake (except skinny Ivan Teong. he's too skinny that he can eat at night lah without worries -.-)

anyway, overall, the wedding was not bad. I went in place of Dad's colleague and passed the groom the angbao. Dad bao-ed $200. wow. the wedding really got me thinking about the future. I was thinking- right now some of my friends had passed driving and can drive or are driving. I think pretty soon (ok NOT so soon lah), the next thing you'd hear from them is that they're getting engaged, getting married, so-and-so is with so-and-so, yada yada yada!!

then I thought to myself. omg. then, will I be invited? I must think of how much angbao to give, what to wear.. !! haha!! then I also wondered if I was to marry, who will I ask to be my host, what will I wear, where (and whether I have the money) to hold the banquet, who to invite, what shall I do for my video (must not overplay a certain video, it's quite irritating), what music to play, what food for the 9-course meal..etc, etc, etc.

during the wedding, I remembered I saw a gorgeous purple gown (for prom one I think) online before and saved the image cos I thought it was so gorgeous. and then I thought, wah, I want that to be part of my bridal dress collection!! nevermind that it'd be sticking to my skin, revealing my bulges, nevermind it'd be sleeveless, nevermind that I am (by a friend last time -.- thanks Yoko) said to have a manly back!! cos AFTERALL, I will probably sign up for some slimming programme (as to what brides do, I believe) before the big day!!

and omg the dress (the first purple one) is so gorgeous to me!! it's jewel purple! I can totally re-wear it for some glam event. HAHA, although that's kinda not advisable.. but why spend so much on clothes you'd only wear once in your life and hang in your closet as an ornament later? (not saying I want to marry alot of times lah, I'm highlighting the reusability factor) haha..oh well. btw, there are two purple dresses cos I was searching for this dress (cos I lost the saved image in my com) and came upon the second dress too. I kinda like the second dress too but I like the first dress' rich jewel purple color.. oh man! I just have a thing for purple things or things made of soft material like satin and silk (it's shiny too! sucha luxurious feel!) lah.

also, at the wedding, I witnessed a table of people beside mine who drank a lot of red wine. one got really drunk and puked. they talked rather loudly throughout, and one of them "c0-erced" (peer pressure!) others to drink.. they were China nationals.

a woman from my table at one point, made a stereotype comment to another China national who's also from my table - "how come you never drink so much like them?" I was amazed. the sociology contexts about stereotyping came into my head and I thought WALAU, being a China national doesn't mean you'd drink and talk loudly lah, although it's kinda "their culture" (cos beer is very cheap in China)

and then I link link to the recent news about the foreign workers and their plight. let's just say we love (we can't do without them) and hate them for some reasons. . when I read about it on the newspaper about the residents' unhappiness about Serangoon (I think) being a land chosen/planned by the government to build foreign workers' housing in.

When I was reading the newspaper, I was rather amazed people actually petition and ask their neighbours to sign them as they don't want the foreign workers' housing to be built near them. I know they feel threatened, are worried for their children's safety, want some peace and quiet, and also they just want to protect their residential house value lah..but seriously, can't we be more compassionate? it's not like these people want to leave their family/homeland to work here. It's just that there's better prospects here. and they are humans too lah. so of course they would want better housing! the government also recognises their contribution and thus they want to build housing for them to reduce overcrowding! (just like the maids' housing plan =T)

oh well. but then again, I am not in their position so I admit I am not in the position to say. but like what a writer in the newspaper said, "it's just not right". abit kuazhang to petition about this kinda thing. and where do they want the foreign workers, the majority who built almost all of Singapore's buildings to stay in? Pulau Ubin ah? -.-

Ahh.. that being said, I shall just leave it as that.

Next topic, relationships.
Of late, I seem to hear of many friends' "It's Complicated" BGRs.. and then I thought to myself, gosh. relationships are so mafan, thank God I'm single. but then again, I guess being in love and the attention from the other party is sweet, and you'd feel less alone.. and it's also a human order thing, to seek "The One" (I for one, want to get married). but then the thought of a guy "killing me" subtly with his actions and me being hooked and caught up in a relationship, it just threatens my routine kinda life and I wondered if I'd be able to take such a thing if it comes..

I mean, my last last crush already got me very upset (and thus I promised myself not to put my heart into crushes - "just look, forget and walk away") and my last crush left me feeling very vexed. sometimes I just wanna give up lah on "crushing" (ok sounds stupid). cos I feel pathetic "me-owing" (stealing glances) at my crush or feeling happy when he talks to me, then impatient when he doesn't. the most killer stupid act is me waiting for him to talk to me on msn or what not.

and so I give up.
For comic factor, here's my recent happiness/excitedness level of my latest/ex crush:
interest/happiness/excitedness is just zero already. I'm so sian of crushing around!
From now on, I'd tell myself "He's just not that into you" to stop myself from the pathetic behaviors I mentioned above.

maybe I should start a No-crush initative and a Eye-candy only initiative! but wait! I still wanna get married one day! =/ and my children's name will be Eden (omg my poly friend's name) or Tiasa. such nice names! LOL. ok, that's very random and I shall end it at my What I Want List cos it's bloody 3AM and I gotta wake up at 7AM. collecting my shoes tomorrow! YAY!

Now that I'm 20, Here's What I want List:
Material/Aesthetic Things:
- A long lasting, nice wallet (been using my sis' secretly till she busted me =/)
- To change my phone to a smart phone cos I just like typing instead of smsing normally - I get impatient. and I like to get organised! (gotta wait till December for plan to finish tho =[ )
- To dye my hair to the color I like (don't know when I'd do this)
- Shoes for running (I still haven't gotten one, in 20 years of my life, believe it or not!)
- Kimono dresses and nice dressy tops/dresses

Life Order Wants:
- To study and keep up at lectures
- To get my timetable organised (SIM's slow system damn slow. they better give me my new timetable soon!)
- Clear folders to get organised (no time to go popular)
- To save/Money in my bank
- To lead a more fulfilling life (learn guitar, etc)

THE END

Random photos from phone!

2008-09-06T10:16:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'm 20 years old already! Omg. feel so old.
become lao jiao, old blur peach, old carebear le! HAHAHA.
Anyway, to those who wished and celebrated my birthday with me, THANKS. I appreciate it! =)

Momo isn't online to wish me tho =(
Oh well. shall entertain myself. Here are some random photos taken with my phone!! hoho.

TFC 6 Scenery Photos !
(above the treetops)

Lamborghini found in Vivo Carpark !! (shuai dai le~)

The hair colour I want !! Light Brown =)
The Works - Samsam's (baby peach's) Birthday Card !!

The Works - SIM UOL SRC's Bazaar Banner !!

Helped out Ria in the thinking of concept and the painting of the Bazaar's banner.
Ziquan drew it ! It was a fun experience.
Anyway, it wasn't meant to look like a meercat or a octopus! =I

The Works - Our group's version of Oriental Funk termed China Wine won 3rd prize!
(but no actual prize de -.-) damn xin ku lah. was very cui after the competition.
I actually thought out of the idea of the geisha, fan and sun. and I drew the geisha and the fan. Majority of the spraying was done by Sandar, Grace's sec 1 student who had the experience. although I was confident of the work, it didn't win I guess because it's not very well-sprayed/it's not really graffiti (graffiti seemes more "word"/"funk text" styles).. It was a good try though. I wished we won though because the 1st Prize is $500 in vouchers!! =@

ok lah, seriously it was fun and worth the experience =) winning 3rd on the first attempt is not bad what! =T
I think this work actually reminds me alot of my secondary school's artwork (those that I get a "A" in). HAHA. I think if I were to do all these alone, it'd actually be good enough for an A. not so sure about winning $500 in a Graffiti Arts Competition HAHA.. but it's not bad right =B woohoo!

Birthday Celebrations
August Babies - Samsam and Ziquan!
Realised didn't take any pictures with Samsam =(

Alan MIA-ing with girls again

My birthday celebration @ Minds Cafe!! =D
thanks Joyce for the lovely card! thank you, my dear carebears!

End!

Broke !

2008-09-05T01:09:00.002-07:00

just came back from Tampines Mall! YAY!
Met Bryan for dinner and he treat me Yoshinoya! hahas.
How the dinner even came about was cos I asked him to pei me go see Adidas shoes. I was lemming for a sports shoe recently after reading about the Born Again promo at Dawn Yang's blog.. but I have no chance to go see the shoes cos I haven't got a chance to go shopping at a mall that has an Adidas store. and.. all my friends seems to be too busy (that I don't bother asking), staying too far away etc to go with me..

initally, I ask some people whether they were free but it seems like no one was.. =(
but this morning Bryan called and said he's free! so yay!! haha. it sure brightened up my day.
it was a short dinner but great nevertheless cos I don't feel that pathetic anymore. at least of all the friends I had, someone was able to go with me to see shoes (before the promo was over!)..T.T

thanks Bryan.

after that he went off for cellgroup la, then I went shopping myself. I went to check out wallets at The Wallet Shop (I want a wallet!! I'm thinking of maybe getting a branded classic wallet that lasts me till I step into the corporate world!), The Art Box, the M1 Shop, Watsons and Mini Toons!

I spent damn alot of money today lah. splurged on toiletries from Watsons and on friendship stuffs at the Art Box. I bought stuffs for myself (a box pencil case I wanted to get since forever), my dearest peach family, my dear carebears family (one piece of postcard is like damn ex but it was too irresistable for me not to buy them home.. din get a nice postcard for myself =/ too broke HAHA) and my Korean penpal (ok I know it sounds childish)

it was a darn silly and paiseh experience. I bought a small bottle for my penpal thinking it was cute, but I never see the words properly (!!) and end up when I was looking at it @ Yoshi, I found out that it wrote "You Make Me Mushy" and there was a mushroom beside these words. =@ totally not fitting for my korean girl penpal.. shall save it for my future boyfriend HAHA or maybe give to dearest Momo T.T when she comes back <33

YEAH -.- So I went back again to buy something else for my penpal (cos I wanna mail it to her).. initially for my first visit to Art Box, I bought stuffs only for my girl carebears, but then when I browsed some more, I decided to buy stuffs for the guy carebears too. GAH. shit lah. I realised I totally forgot to get for Maybelin (altho she's not a carebear, she's been working hard nowadays, sleeping very late..=/) then THE MOST PAISEH THING that happened is when I went to pay, I realised I not enough money! then damn paiseh gotta return back one postcard T.T (sorry penpal!)

and...=( I spent all my money there unknowingly and when I was walking to the station to take bus after the traffic light, I realised that I DIN SAVE ANY MONEY BUY THE MATERIALS FOR TOMORROW'S GRAFITTI COMPETITION! =@@@ *HORROR*

SOO I WENT BACK. *was damn irritated at that point) I went back to Popular to buy the vanguards and masking tape at level 3, paying with my already depleting ATM Card. and I walked past The Art Box AGAIN.. third/forth time already lah. damn sian. I felt damn broke at that moment, knowing my bank left like less than 50bucks already..=( but I don't know why I know I'm getting broke but I still spend like this...walau. gotta work already...

anyway, I decided to buy New Balance shoes from a friend's boyfriend who can get em cheap!
I will be geared for my Swing KPE run!
If only I can run my troubles away. haha.. I used to want to do that.. (but I don't have any sports shoes then =( at age 20, I must finally get one!)

yep.. oh yeah, then when I went home it was damn funny.
I saw my brother sending his friend/colleague (female) off at the lift and damn retarded!!
HE WAS WEARING PYJAMAS.
so horror.
went home and my mom was horrified too.
how come he not paiseh one? so amazing.

AHHHHHH.. I'm so broke lah.
I wanna get my angbao soonnnnnnn..

and I'm so happy for Kiasong =)
I hope Jianing can get her ODAC ppl to contribute!
SHOW THAT THERE'S power in the people!!~
I'm happy for Kiasong too. hope he can continue running, if that is what keeps him happy!
And I kinda admire him lah. cos I can't run for nuts. shall see how I fare in the Swing KPE Run (OMG REALISED THAT ITS LYK a week before the socio tests! which I havent started studying for)
GO KIASONG!!! (altho I don't know you)

SHOCK ! Hyun Bin in Singapore?

2008-09-05T01:09:00.001-07:00

* SHOCK * !!
omg omg! Hyun Bin and Song Hye Kyo is filming in Singapore!
It's for a drama "The World They Live in" ..
It was said that they filmed at Circular Road Alley beside UOB Plaza,
Pagoda Street (Chinatown) and Boat Quay/Clarke Quay!

For more details, visit Hanfever.

OH, my lovely Hyun Bin <33>Momo's here.
maybe she'd go with me to do so..T.T

SMS me leh, Hyun Bin!! <33
His flight back is next Thursday!
But I don't know the details T.T.. Suddenly,Singapore Airportseems so big =(

LOL. some cute My Lovely Samsoon comics! =D

(GOSSIP!) Fans who saw the star said that Hyun Bin smokes 2 sticks in 10 mins (I think?) ..gosh!

Is he a chain smoker?

Nooo please take care of your health!!~~~~

Weight on my shoulders

2008-09-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

I guess when I face tough or troubled times, I'd especially especially miss Momo, my true confidante and friend..but I don't know why, at these times, she's always not around! =@ why!! and I'd feel so alone.

It seems that I am becoming more outspoken and withdrawn recently, both at the same time. I am kinda being more sociable/speaking up more, and I am able to converse and laugh at my mandarin, but sometimes, I can't help but feel sad. and I'd keep everything to myself maybe cause I don't think anybody else would understand me like my best friend does =(

of late, I have become more irritated and emo as well. my tolerance level as compared to last time has decreased considerably. and what really irks me nowadays are rude, inconsiderate people, ESPECIALLY inconsiderate friends. it's like the quote "don't do onto people what you don't want people to do onto you" really don't work on some friends, for some reason, which I don't understand why. It's almost like a basic characteristic I felt that a friend should have after all, but now I know, not all friends are that.

rant. I need to rant. the weight on my shoulders seems especially heavy.
it's like I've not studied for the past few days and not have time to myself. and I'm someone who really need to have time to myself so I guess maybe the way I'm feeling now is because I'm not having enough of that. which sucks. then there's the responsibilities, the dwindling money supply (I'm almost broke!), the unfulfilled things I want to do. the pathetic state I am in right now because my best friend is not here with me.

how can I get out of feeling like this? it was okay at first when she left, but like how I felt when my grandpa died, the emotions I feel really starts coming thereafter..and some things are really not helping at all.

Oh bother!
... in the midst when I was doing a good deed (despite the bad mood), a white butterfly/moth flew in! petrifying. and I stay on the 12th Floor. It was really creepy.....!!! OMG. it flew outside my door after a few minutes after I ran out. and then I ran in and closed the door shut and proceeded to close the window curtains!! =@ okay, time to sleep. my emo-ness is over. hope I can study tomorrow. maybe it'd take my mind off things.

2008-09-01T19:30:00.001-07:00

I miss you Momo..

2008-08-27T08:45:00.000-07:00

I miss you so much Momo..
Without you, it's such a challenge. Everything I went through, the good the bad, I'd keep in my heart.
It's becoming unbearable.

Happy National Day!

2008-08-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

gah. now Sasha's gone and it's one year since I moved to Bedok Reservoir. had spent a month or two being in SIM.. made new friends, joined new associations.. everybody's leading their own life, including me.. my time spent in front of the TV catching shows has decreased to a pathetically, and GAH I din see the Olympics Opening! Quite irritating that my Bridging Exams (left 10++ chapters) and my Topography Course is just around the corner. It's next week and they're both "so close to each other". I am soo not prepared for either.. and the fact that it's back to back sucks cos it means that I can't train for the course and I'd have to rush into packing.

To add to my rants, I had my SRC Council Interview yesterday and boy, I think I sucked. I was too tensed, my mind was in a blank, so I anyhow say sia, haha.. and I giggled like a schoolgirl so often and I think I beemed so much I looked like an idiot (nowadays I keep doing that - not only in the interview- I even do that sometimes when I'm playing Touch Rug! WTH..what's wrong with me?) when I went home after the interview, I realised I could've done better, could've crapped more, been more confident. I forgot to say that I studied Event Mgt, had been a GL and all that! which sucks. and what I learned in school I like give back already lah! cos they asked about "how to make the event more interesting" and I could've used what I learned to make the answer seem more pro and impressive.. >_> but my answers were so lacklustre. gah. if I've known I would've read up my notes or something haha., =/ I hope I can get in lah.. I am like so psyched up esp to organise Fright Night cos after I went home I was thinking up so much ideas (but too late =/) and I think it'd be a whole lot of fun if I was part of the organising team..

ok enough of ranting. Today is National Day and I'm at home, studying for my bridging exams..it's pathetic.
Iwish I could be near the NDP with my friends or something. esp Sasha. but she's in BK T.T. so it's not possible this year so I guess I gotta wait till next year.. was watching a bit of the NDP during dinner and it was beautiful! very colourful. the song this year was nice too.. it made me think about how Singapore is special in it's own way, being a multi-racial nation..=) our Singaporean culture (slang and actions) are unique, sometimes funny, sometimes irritating. I hope that the peace, stability and racial harmony our nation has had all these years will continue till infinitely (or as long as possible).. !!

Singapore will always be close in my heart, but I definitely want to see the world and not live here all my life.. I think it would be quite sad to do so. afterall, the world is so big. it's rather sad to live in a place, all 70++ years of your life? so, I just hope that I'd have the opportunity to work/live elsewhere in the future..

Momo and Touch Rugby Blues

2008-07-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

sent Sasha off today to the airport and rushed to school for Bridging Maths (yay last lesson!), with less than 2 hours of sleep after staying over at her house. but it was alright because I guess sleeping along the way there helped alot..

so yeah. Sasha's gone to the Land of Smiles with Marilyn , for such a long time (4 years), and I'm stuck in Singapore with nobody as close to me as her. I really missed talking to her and listening to her voice lah, even tho I kinda just parted with her not so long ago. tho she's not exactly so FAR away like in Australia, I'll really miss her. It dawned on me today as I was on the train to school that her old number WILL no longer be in use. I can't call her and I'm just so not used to it.. she's the person I rant to when I met inconsiderate people (plenty man!) or people I just wanna slap, and besides all of that, she can tolerate me and hear me patiently. I have not known anyone as "Best Friend Material" as her.. I hope in her time there, she'd not change so much...

on another note, I'm happy she got to experience something different. tho it's not the conventional choice, I think it's pretty cool. and somehow, I think it's quite good she has the global exposure. I sooo wanna go too cos I seriously don't wanna live here all my life without venturing out of Singapore, to see what life is like in other countries. If I have the means, I'd definitely go overseas lah, sad to say. I'm just so sian of the life here although ironically, I'm kinda at the new beginning of my life at this point too, studying in SIM UOL, meeting lotsa people even tho school hasn't officially begin.

then today I joined Touch Rugby for the training sessions again today. I tried my hardest at the game, I chionged more than the other training, altho I din have enough sleep. I wanted to chiong for Sasha cos today is all for Sasha (sorta. I know it sounds very drama). but I dunno why the senior (who I find very impatient >_>) said we weren't vocal enough, and that I must try harder or what.. he said something like "don't like be so not willing to run cos it'd be very tiring for the team who have to cover for you". He said that to me in front of some people, and I was thinking wtf? I really did try my best. and the fact that I did (I know I did) and that senior come and say this kinda thing to me, and I can't say anything back, it was just killing me..

I don't know lah. I'm tired. I miss you Sasha!

(GAH... my holga box and manuals got wet! chicken!)

Picture Heavy HK Trip!

2008-07-01T01:43:00.000-07:00

21st June 2008 (Day 1)

number of stars * = "visit-worthy" tourist sites

Arrive @ HK Airport after 3 hour flight
Check in L' Hotel (I think it's prev known as Royal Plaza Hotel?).
Had lunch @ Tsim Sha Tsui!
- Bought HK Mag (July Issue) of Mina @ HK$25 (about S$5)! =D
Madame Tussands HK Wax Museum ***
- Great for camwhoring individuals, people who wanna strike funny poses with celebrities and starstruck individuals!
- HK & Hollywood Celebrities & Politicians and Famous people spotted: Bruce Lee, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Marilyn Monroe, Micheal Jackson, Twins, Teresa Teng, Andy Lau, Aaron Kwok, Paris Hilton, Queen Elizabeth (I think), and many more!

@ L' Hotel. Grandma and Grandpa's room! what a cute couple they make =)

Angelia Jolie, Brad Pitt and Ayumi Hamasaki !! <3>

Lee Kuan Yew and Mao Zhe Dong?!!
(ohh, yes sir!)

why, it's Madame Tussands and Einstein!!

OMG Bae Yong Joon! *swoons*!
no need to travel to Korea! no more JH! HAHAH..

The Peak ***
- Bird's eye view of HK's beautiful night scenery + cable car rides available here!
- Great for couples and people who are interested in scenic sites or people looking for a place to chill out (may get cold here!)

In front of the cottage house near The Peak (mom, me, sis, grandma and grandpa!)

Then it's back to Hotel and ..

- End of Day 1! -

22nd June 2008 (Day 2)

Dimsum Breakfast @ Restaurant
- It is said that the old folks of HK like to order dimsum and tea and sit from morning till noon to eat+drink, chit chat and have tea! I think it's SO true because that's what we saw @ the restaurant. the grannies there all look so cute! hardly much grandpas tho.. maybe because they're playing chess elsewhere (like our Singaporean counterparts!) I think they can certainly form the.. Dimsum Senior Dollies club ! If you look hard enough you can see the groups of old people really eating and chitchatting behind my family in the photo! I sure wish that in my old age, I can travel the world and do that too (with Sasha!!~) HAHA. and have my Senior Citizens/Neighbour/Friends Bitching "gossips" sessions where we talk about our hubbys, families, aged eyecandies while reminiscing about old times too..? LOL.. =B

our table people sure eat fast as compared to the other 2 family's table.
every meal's almost a wipe-out! Dimsum is not bad. food in HK in my opinion, is not that fantastic.. perhaps because the tour din exactly bring us to those raved/popular food outlets.

then it's off to visit Avenue of Stars! ***
- Visiting it in the noon is hot and kinda unbearable. we have to open umbrellas given the temp in HK being 30+ degrees. Avenue of Stars is a must-visit but only if it's in the night, where the lighting will make the atmosphere nicer, esp with the place being next to the sea. seriously, visiting this atraction in the noon just makes you wanna walk on and ignore the stars (after all they're just handprints!) and bolt for the nearest exit/shelter! xP

(Above) Sis and me
(Below) Ah ma and Ah gong (laughing heartily~ so cute!) sheltered by umbrella!
check out the number of umbrellas opened and the family with cute sons elder son who's my age!! to their left ! HAHA

(above) TOO HOT!! I think this was Jackie Chan's handprint. not that I really care.
(below) me with tubby legs.

Off to Jackie Chan's jewellery store/factory *
- The man is explaining the different Karats. usually jewellers use the Ks I think or was it the Pure Gold Content? can't remember.
- Quite boring because we didn't really buy anything I THINK. mom bought some gold pendant but I think it wasn't here. They brought us to 2 jewellery store I think, which was rather irritating as these places are not in the Itineary. I'd rather go shopping! =(
- It is said that the tour guides get commission off the goods their tour group buys at the stores they bring that to, if the tourists actually buysomething. might be a rumor, I don't know, but it's kinda annoying. a family in our tour got cheated in Shenzhen, for buying medicine herbs @ such a place.

Repulse Bay **
- Really hot! Has many chinese idols/statues like the God of Wealth, etc.
- It SO reminds me of Singapore's old Haw Par Villa!!

This statue below is about the Man on the Moon who is in charge of Love and Matrimony. It is said that he ties the red strings on couples legs to bind them together (in love).

Then it's off to Shenzhen (about 45 mins ride) by HK's MTR (which kinda reminds me of Singapore's MRT).. we took MTR from Tsium Sha Tsui to Lo Wu (the custom)
- HK is very similar to Singapore and HK/Shenzhen's relationship kinda reminds me of Singapore and Malaysia's relationship.

at the Tsium Sha Tsui Station and in the MTR.

- End of Day 2! -

23rd June 2008 (Day 3) @ Window of the World **** & the Cultural Village ***

Facts:
- One of the highest earning tourist attraction of Shenzhen.
- It has about 130 reproductions of some of the most famous tourist attractions in the world (Europe, Asia, Oceania, Africa, Americas & other regions) squeezed into 48 hectares.
- The 108 meter (354 ft) tall Eiffel Tower dominates the skyline and the sight of the Pyramids and the Taj Mahal all in proximity to each other are all part of the slightly kitsch appeal of this theme park.
- You might need to pay extra to get into the Ice place (forgot the name) as well as to get to the top of the Mini Eiffel Tower here to take photos.

(Below) The Mini Leaning Tower of Pisa!

(Below) Me on Smelly (and poor) Camel! (its humps were like "hanging" to one side)
(take photo with the camel for S$2- I think. pretend you're in Egypt when you're really not!)

(Below) finally got to do this action! WA HA HA! Shiokness.

Me and random buildings (It's either China/Japan I suppose..oh wait, I think its China)

(Below) Mini Eiffel Tower!

(Below) at Window of The World's Ice place (forgot the name)
- Need to pay seperate entry fee!
- Friggin cold you gotta get outta here after some tyre rides and phototaking
- You can ski here too! Ski-idiots can use the tyres =)

.. Then we're off to the nearby Cultural Village!
- Damn hot. a fan will come in handy !
- The Cultural Village has SPECTACULAR eye-catching shows, but the warm weather just makes them less enjoyable (one of horses explaining the war between 2 countries and then another show where it's very costumey and lotsa dance and acrobatics)

gotta love the shows. it's really spectacular and you just wonder how they did it.
the women are heavily made up and graceful in dance (and they have good bodies!) alot of manpower and thought is put into making the show because there's dancers @ the left, right, center, back....everywhere you literally don't know where to put focus to!

- End of Day 3! -

24th June 2008 (Day 4) Back to HK & to Disneyland HK ***!

Enthu Mom with the family with cute sons HAHA
(an emo son and army guy son)

@ the Entrance area

Stimulating the Toontown (oh I played that game!) feel

(Above) On the Carousel and (below) my enthu mom again

Having tea in the teacup with Sis (LOL)

seeing the 3D show Mickey's Philar (I think that's how you spell it)

gotta don the glasses! hehe so cute huh, esp the photo with gramps!

Minnie Mouse Sis! AWWWW~

Disneyland HK has many different "areas/lands" like Tomorrowland, Adventureland, etc.
We're at Adventureland when the typhoon disrupted the rides =( and so far we kinda sat mostly indoor rides only!! =@ We din take the fantastic River Cruise =I

A must-take: the Ice Mountain (I think that's what you called it)

My 70 year old Grandma actually rode this rollercoaster ride too.. WOW! strong grandma (and made no noise)! Mom on the other hand "wailed" alot. the first time when I took the ride, I screamed and laughed alot too. WAHAA.

also, go to It's a Small World! It's pretty =)

overall, Disneyland HK was kinda a letdown for me. Perhaps I've grown out of it and the fact that there's not much fun rides/spectacular shows, perhaps it was the weather. OK lah, it's a combi of both. Mom says it loses to the Japan and USA (of course lah USA the originator mah) one.. I think the weather played a big part. the toilets are friggin cold tho and a redemption from the hot weather ~! then there was the Sleeping Beauty Castle fireworks @ 8pm =)

and then it's time to go home after the show! =D

here's a sweet photo of my gramps! was so eager to take it artistically (but kinda failed)
Caption will be like "My wife: The person I hold on to" (ok cheesy GAHA) but it's so sweet!! T.T

tired gramps! (grandpa made alot of WOooo noise when we told him gotta walk somemore- damn cute!)

- End of Day 4! -

25th June 2008 (Day 5) Free & Easy and Back to Singapore ***!
before going back to Singapore, we went to eat breakfast at a restaurant despite the Level 3 Typhoon (damn windy and wet!) gramps were so cute in raincoats! =D

the Typhoon went up to No. 8 the night before!

then it's back to Singapore! =) the flight was delayed tho for 2-3 hours =(

overall, the trip was alright (ok honestly, a little disappointing. not much shopping) but because I got to know my cute gramps (glum-looking grandma) and damn eager mother (who walks so fast sometimes that she abandon gramps) a little further, and also, cos I spent time with my sister, I'm happy!

The Human Spirit

2008-06-30T07:48:00.000-07:00

It's confirmed I'm going to SIM UOL..
NUS rejected me, NTU rejected me, SMU rejected me, even after I appealed.. hais.
School kinda started already for me at SIM as I am attending my Econs and Maths bridging course.. saw alot of familiar faces so I guess quite a number of us dragon babies ended up here because the local unis don't accept us "borderline-grades" ppl. and I certainly think in NUS/NTU/SMU, GPA MATTERS HELL ALOT because event Sasha, being at top 10% of her marketing cohort, can't get into a local uni, which is damn unfair.

anyway, the briding course (to get the exemptions for related subj and cut off a year of uni) is reallyy damn sian. I'm finding it real tough to catch up on what I've learnt but forgotten in poly. the fact that I missed 2 lessons didn't help.. furthermore, the tutors went thru the lessons so fast because we have learnt most of the syllabus before already. I hope I can cope. to make things worse, I am soo darn lazy. I'm like supposed to be studying/revising to catch up but I am SO procrastinating. and bloody hell it's 10.52 PM already. I don't know why, after every school day I go home dead tired after sitting in the bus for like an hour. today I napped, ate maggie mee and watched a show that's both inspiring and sad.

The Human Spirit Show
this show was on Arts Central @ 9 on Mondays and it's about extraordinary people. today's episode was about the Half Man Half Tree man from Indonesia.. previously I've watched the episode about the World's Smallest Mom. next week is on the Tallest/Giant Woman.. the Half Man Half Tree guy apparently have warts so bad to the extent his limbs are trunks. it's caused by a low/almost non-existant immunity system that was unable to fight the warts off.

The show just breaks my heart esp the part where the guy was performing in the circus (where other people like him are. there's the Bubble Man, the droopy face Lady, the Elephant Nose guy) and he had to pull some vehicle with HIS HAIR as the crowd looks on. I just can't imagine what they have been through and the potential he could have if he wasn't striken with this disease.. they actually interviewed the circus management and it was quite true that despite allegations thrown at them on the issue of morality, at least they hired them cos if they don't, who will? It is the truth that most of society won't accept them.. it's also sort of no choice that they're in this. it's just like a cycle and reality.. it's like the poverty cycle some countries face where nothing can be done unless something is done about it or someone does something really impactful to "allow the breakage of it"..

I think watching documentaries can be abit saddening sometimes. like they had the commercial for one of the shows about earth and for a moment I was just so depressed about man and their actions to earth (tho I do not deny, I am a contributor too).. watching shows like these are educational and inspiring. I really do hope that I do remember them when I am about to lose my temper or am irritated at life.. I really hope I do remember that someone elsewhere, got it worse and that I am actually very blessed/lucky to be alive, to have a family.. and thus it'd be pathetic for me to be so irritated about the small things.

The Family Video
(because I do not know how to embed and am lazy to find out more after failing to upload the damn video for the first time, here's the video link!)
speaking about family, after the show Channel 5 had the commercial about family, I think, to publicise about the http://thinkfamily.sg/ site. it's a good commercial in my opinion because it's so relatable. if I could, I'd like to keep a database of all the good ads man. for it, I find it so damn funny and heartwarming at the same time.. it reminded me of the times when I was young and made a fuss to my mom/dad, wanting to buy things.. I used to think that as a Singapore middle-income family child, I am quite deprived cos I don't have much barbie dolls, UNO cards/games and soft toys! and I don't own a single polly pocket! just a rag doll, 2 soft toy bear+rabbit and 2 dolls? HAHA. maybe my parents were pratical parents, or maybe cos I am a middle child! (equals hand-me-downs) but I guess I thought so because I always compared myself to my peers of my age =@the ridiculously funny part of the commercial was of the young girl asking the dad to buy a bra (which she obviously don't need, being a young girl) HAHA. HMM.. to digress, it reminds me of the time in Shenzhen I asked mom whether I can buy this lacy bra (I thought she'd disagree cos it's lacy? HAHA) but she agreed so YAY I finally got a lacy bra! ok. irrelevant. but yeah lah,

bah. in the commercial, the dad sitting on this recliner chair thing and it just so happens that my dad (at the same moment) was sleeping like a baby on the recliner chair TOO! (perhaps this is a very grandpa/dad thing? OK not really if it's a modern dad- my ah pa was "kena influenced" into liking to sleep on it from ah gong!)..and it is quite funny at that moment, LOL. ohh don't you love good commercials? I also like the Heinz ketchep ad (can't find it in youtube wth!) too with the duck- it's like so freaking cute! other good ads/commercials, sadly, I don't remember.

My Silent Tribute to Clifton

2008-06-13T01:12:00.000-07:00

I guess alot of people who knew him already know now of what happened.. it was all over the news. For me, I first knew about it through reading Beatrice's Blog.. I always frequented her blog to read about what's happening in her life and to see her gorgeous photos.. she's not as humorous/bitchy as Xiaxue, but I guess her blog has an interesting element to it.. I read it at work on Friday actually, and never could I have expected that what I read was about Clifton's death. Initially, when I saw the title and the pictures (haven't gotten to read the content yet), I thought he fell sick or had an illness or something..but I was shocked to read that he has already passed away.. and what's more, it's of heat exhaustion. I never knew a person could die from that..

Clifton was my facilitator (FAs are basically like a Group Leaders' "leaders") in Magus for Orientation Training Camp '07 and then later Zilra for the Freshmen Orientation Workshop/Camp '07..

Although I didn't really know him personally, it doesn't take much to tell that he's really a good person. (basically, just by how a person acts/through the vibes a person is giving out, you'd just know he's a good/person to stay away from- unless of course the person is putting on a mask..) as an FA (endearingly, Zilra nicknamed him da tou because he has a big head!), he's supportive, really cheerful and a sunshine-y person. he's a crapper and a very game (ON) person, and honestly, for a guy, I found him to be quite cute/good-looking. I remembered once he was kinda lecturing us to buck up as GLs, but because he was so cheerful all the time, it was rather weird to see him so serious. so we really kind of "woke up" from the leturing and tried harder in giving our best. but even so when he was lecturing us, he wasn't being a mean or unreasonable, you could really tell that he is concerned and wants the best from us..

To me, Clifton and Terence were the best FAs one could get. I think Clifton had alot of fans.. alot of people respected them and when many knew about his death, people who have worked with him (friends, teachers, GLs, even freshies!), whether close or not close, flooded his friendster account with their condolences, and wrote about him in their blogs/nicks, esp after it was on the news. On msn, I saw his profile online. I think it was his family who signed and leave it on to notify his friends where the wake will be held. When I knew about it at work I asked Ethel if she knew him and she said she know who he is. she was shocked too. I asked her why wasn't it on the news yet (as it happened in the course of duty) and she said maybe they* like to coverup and may not report it everytime. but I guess that's not the case because it was reported later. I was kind of shocked to see the local newspaper confirming it the next day.. it was in the news, on the channelnewsasia site, everywhere..

I think many Singaporeans think Singapore is very safe, very organised, almost perfect. but over the years, especially recently (after Mas Selamat's escape/the dragonboating incident), we know that there's no such thing as perfection and that things may go wrong.. you'll never know what happens next. So I think it'd be at our best interests to always stay vigilant and for the government to strive for excellence and continual reviewing/improving. I hope that in view of these recent incidents, the government can step up and look into things. I do applaud and appreciate the efforts the government has been putting in their various campaigns, and am supportive of them, but I also do hope that after these incidents, investigations and preventive measures can be taken to ensure the welfare of their soldiers, etc and not let such things happen again. I know it's hard to govern a state, but I think surely, we can do better! Jiayou Singapore!!! you can do it! common! the government, you have such talented people!

gah.. I miss TP so much.. the Zilra times and all..
Although I am not close to the Zilra family, and never really felt like I belonged, nevertheless, looking at the pictures, it just brings back the memories.. I never regretted joining as I learnt alot and it was a memorable experience.

Here's to the fun times..I miss you Clifton, you and Zilra, will forever be in our hearts.

Rest in Peace, dear friend, Clifton..
I hope you stay cute, happy and cheerful always, wherever you are =)
RSAF has commissioned you as an officer, a Second Lieutenant!
Your dreams of being a pilot has come true!

Clifton Lam Jia Hao
1987*-2008
(sorry about the mistake for his year of birth. I had thought he's the same age as me =/)

No doubt, you are a great person, and an excellent example of the human spirit. you will definitely be missed by all of us.. we love you ! Right now, I just pray that your family, girlfriend and friends will be alright, and that they stay strong..

No more SMU..

2008-06-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

now its no more SMU..
they have replied thru e-mail and rejected me. I just emailed them so late last evening to request for an earlier notification of results cos SIM UOL gotta make payment already by 7th June.. and this morning so fast, they rejected me already! =( less than 12 hours. I called mom thereafter and can't help but cry a bit. Dad called me minutes later and he said "mei ban fa. no choice, move on.. " he said that should have some preparation for these kinda things already.. after that, with no apparent reason, I cried more because in some way, I am touched by his concern. and his words just had an effect on me for some reason..

I guess I realised that it's good to have family, although mine has a subtle way of caring (when I was young I always wondered why they never said "I love you" and all. I even asked them when they grew older, but they said that it's an "of course thing". but I guess they really do care, just that they don't show it like in the movies [haha]) - perhaps I really watched too much movies that made me the way I am, so dramatic sometimes.. life at times, seems like a movie itself to me..

so... it's SIM UOL now... thank God luckily I still have that, although I don't know how useful/credible the institution is.. I didn't do much research. sigh. you know I feel that we poly grads have such huge competition.. we fight with the JC people for university places, and even some really smart people I know didn't really get their first choice! and Sasha who had a Diploma with Merit was rejected by all 3 local unis as well! seriously the govt should give us poly grads more chances, esp if they want us to continue onto our university education. it's like only the top poly grads get to go to the 3 local unis...=/ so what about all the borderline/"okok" grads? is it the "survival of the smartest"? seriously, it's no wonder people are going overseas to study/are living elsewhere.

maybe I am just sour about the whole thing and am thus saying all these.
but seriously, that's how I feel. I'd try appealing again to SMU, but how far will that get me?

GAH. why can't I get anything I want?

In Poly I like got my 6th choice (but it's okay because I didn't regret), and now, in Uni, it's the same.. T.T

Looks like that HK trip would be a one for me to relieve my disappointments in life.. although I should be grateful where I am, but seems like my expectations on how I wanna live my life always fall short of the way I am living my life.. =/ gotta buck up now.

Missing School..=(

2008-06-04T07:46:00.000-07:00

now that Thou Shall Not Be Named and my supervisor is gone, the office has grown to be awfully quiet, except for the occasional chatters, giggles, munching noises (from eating the snacks, haha!) and "work"talk from the different people at where I am working -> Level 2, the Accounts Department.

haha. nowadays, I really slacked... even played the Bubble game from Facebook.. because of the nature of the game, the time limit, I din even surf away and pretend to do work like I usually do. LOL. anyway. walau. JH is coming back next Monday. I heard from Chin Heng. haha. then when I told Shirley, Ethel and Seha, they said "you are happy/excited right? / next week must dress up le!" LOL.

then Shirley said she actually knew about it lah. but she din wanna tell me cos wanted me to "get a suprise" (like when I go to work then suddenly JH walk in thru the door HAHA how I'd react! what!? she think I'd be thinking "am I'm dreaming" at that point of time is it -.-") gosh. she added that she had hinted to me that time over lunch when she questioned me how I'd react if the family came back to Singapore prematurely. but I said I wouldn't be suprised, given the situation now. So therefore, I am right! they're coming back! Must be the telepathy/connection I have with the family.. GAHHAA ok JK) but SIAN I din expect that they'll come back so fast lah!! what happened to "I shall be gone before he comes back"? comment I made at Seha's Facebook? but I guess it's for the best because things aren't good - the turnover rate remains high and there's quite a number of people who left, thus there's quite some vacancies (and it's not those small frys. it's like the GM+Finance Manager kinda position, and etc). but business is still sustainable.

IMO, I think the right thing to do for the bosses is to really look into the problem, renew their mindsets (heard they are really traditional), do away with some procedures that are time-consuming and unnecessary and station someone from the family in Singapore (seriously they should not continue the as I would say- "buy 1 get 2 free" thing they do. like when 1 member go to America, all will go along. but perhaps they prefer living in America then Singapore.. but isn't it tiring to always come back time-to-time to visit- like once in a few months?) this is the Regional HQ or some sort lorh. so I think to station a family member here is necessary.. but I guess the family doesn't like to be seperated..so, oh well, their choice.

anyway, life's been so-so. this week is scary because I'd know if I can get into SMU or not.. =/ I actually called them to request an earlier notification date because 7th June I gotta pay the fees for SIM's UOL and I wanna know if my posting results at SMU because I don't want to face the problem of paying for the fees of UOL then later realise I got accepted (and wasting that money!) I called and explained to the person on the phone that (including the fact I was rejected by NTU/NUS).. hopefully they won't think that SMU is my last resort or what cos it's really my first choice, my dream school! GAHHH =@~~ I HOPE THEY REALLY ACCEPT ME! CAN I GET MY FIRST CHOICE FOR ONCE?! it'd be like striking the lottery if I got in ...... oh man......... I think I will be really disappointed if I didn't get in. then it'd be SIM for me and the school's like so far lah! Nooooo.....then I got to go for the Bridging Course pretty soon, which means I can't work and earn money!! sigh.

anyway, 2 weeks from now I'd be going HK from 20th to 25th July! it'd either be a celebration trip or a go there to "shan xing" T.T trip.... I'm looking forward to it.....but right now what's on my mind is "oh man.. SMU SMU CAN YOU HEAR ME CALLING YOU!!!! please let me in your school!!!!" =(

I miss school too...
Such a sad entry... shall post up some Grad photos! there's so many! These are the nicer ones HAHA.

what the scary stage looks like.

Me and Gucci (hair is pretty nice here, face is ok.
but why does my eyes had to be like one big, one small! ~_~)

Me and Jialing! (LOL I think I look kinda cute here)

Me, kor's camera, my cert and Dad!

5 Peaches and 1 Banana!(Cookies and Creme?)

preview of not nice photos to come > example: my HURHURHUR mouth here.
With Sasha <3> and Sexy Peach Clara!

Clara, me, Yeung Huan, Sabrina, Eugene and their 2 friends

3 years of hard work to.. get an empty Maroon folder (with no cert) from the Director of Business School (I think?), whom I forgot to shake hands with (too kanchong!) - cert was taken later.

and to end it off, the comical photo stolen from the ever-comical Ethel (from her thumbdrive). good idea Ethel!! ^-^ good pose too. BUT LOL. you really ought to stand next to a wooden bookshelf!

Thou Shall Not Be Named's fate

2008-05-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

Noon
I'm sitting down with toothpaste on my face, drinking Camomile Tea because Green Tea ran out! LoL. a while back some crazyass livejournal person added me as a friend and their nick was related to my crush JH's name!! LoL. quite funny! gave me a shock. but like as if it's possible that he knows my LJ nick. MWA HA HA. self-inflicted shock, I would say.

Anyway. haven't received any information from SMU yet. I'd have to prepare my appeal letter already.. gotta write that later on. oh, about work (which I have been blogging alot about unknowingly), suprise suprise! my supervisor and Thou Shall Not Be Named 's last day was last Friday. gosh. it was so sudden. she gave notice the day we ate together for my supervisor's 2nd last day where we treated her and Angela, a temp. she gave her notice that day and her last day is Friday already. so fast. don't know what really happened or what she's thinking.

But I heard she had issues with lotsa people on the 5th floor and also, with the tenant lah, whom she shouted to "get out" (she no EQ or what?) so I think it was for the best. and people have been saying she's all talk no action for the past month she had been with the company so yeah lah, it's time to leave.. honestly, the office will be a nicer, quieter place without her around. she just adds to the tense, unpredictable office atmosphere. altho we kinda do sympathise with her on her plight of being disfigured (she got caught in a fire in school), honestly, we really treat her as any other person. But if she wasn't so oversensitive, uptight and scary (moods everchanging and she'd shout and stuff), she'd be more likeable and people will respect her.but!! she was really quite unbearable so unfortunately, many people were happy to see her leave when they received news she tendered.

I for one, am happy too because she's really quite what horrible! like that time I didnt go to her office to ask her what she wants for lunch because I came back quite late from running an errand I think and hurried off with the others for lunch, (I wasnt obliged to but I ask her everyday because initially I asked the others everyday also mah, so I asked her too cos they dont eat out) then I smsed her quite late before I went back, to ask whether her subordinate John is buying food for her, den I forgot what she reply. then later I walk past her office I asked her if she ate then she said yeah, long ago, and that dont know what, nowadays I don't want to buy for her mah.

but like please lorh. those few days she ask John to buy for her one.. I overheard her asking him to buy so I didn't bother asking her. and it's not like I'm obliged to buy for her everytime. I will continue buying for her (even tho all my colleagues ask me not to because she should be the one asking me and not I asking her) because I know she'd give me shit if I don't buy for her (wah lucky I sms her that time or dont know what will happen - like what she'd say). so to avoid that "shit", just buy lah. I really didn't mind actually. but despite sending her the sms, she's still being rude. Even tho she's a manager or what it wouldn't hurt to say her "please"-s sometimes, and NOT be so sarcastic and bossy. that time we ate together Shirley handed us some food and asked us to eat more then Thou Shall Not Be Named said "what about me? I haven't eat/never offer me" blah blah. GOSH. oh man. but now that she's gone, there won't be the witch-y laughs from her anymore- the office will be a quieter place! so now it's only left Ivy and Shirley for the perms. quite sad really.

OH well. enough about work.
I just identified some Things that are very Singaporean are:
1) Singlish/Dialects
2) Kiasunism!
3) Complain Complain !
4) Families going to Expo for sales.. (cos I went to Robinson sale and while walking to Expo Hall 7/8 it seems sucha "Singaporean thing". haha.

(Uh, I know there is more but it's To be Continued..cos I ran outta ideas haha!)

btw!! I got some websites about flowers and the meaning of each flower! =)

http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Language-and-Meaning-of-Flowers&id=10289 http://www.beyondblossoms.com/flower_meanings.php
http://www.proflowers.com/flowerguide/rosemeanings/default.aspx?ref=organicgglgeneric
http://www.giftarmenia.com/Flowers_Meaning.shtml

kinda totally random I know, but I researched for it when I bought flowers for my supervisor on her last day. (bought 5-rose bouquet for 10bucks at Bedok Reservoir Market at last! but I think not very fresh but oh well, that was my first attempt at buying roses, so pardon me boss!) so let's not let the research go to waste =P
can keep for future reference too mwah ha ha.

HMM. I think personally, for flowers, I kinda like to have dark blue/violet/red roses or morning glories or tulips. and of course, iris flowers! yep. don't have a favorite. guess it depends on the mood/giver =P and receiving the same old flowers all the time is boring mah so I guess a variety is good. it's either that or I just can't make a choice LOL. gotta buck up on my decision making man!

and also while walking that day, I was thinking about advertisement ideas (cos I wanna work in an advertising agency someday, and travel the world - haha I dream to lah!):

- One was a random ad (as in I don't exactly have a product for it but I thought it's quite cute):
A cat and a human who just walked outta his/her house cross paths and ... *up to own creativity/many more brainstorming to get the "full script" (cant think of anything else. its either it follows the human because of whatever reason [ smell nice? blah ] / it follows the human and many other cats and humans too) <- was inspired by a real life walking experience just that the cat went to walk on the drain but it was a path where there's no one else but the cat and me!

- Another would probably be for a camera ad, where COLOR is the theme.
So the person who was aiming the color looks at the screen+on film and everything seems so colorful and nice (heart-shaped trees?) but pulls the camera to one side and reveals a less interesting scene <- overall meaning means the camera damn good, can make the scenes more beautiful (I figure by the future it'd be). and to play up the wow-factor, the scene would be a family-ish moment or a funny/ridiculous scene (more impact)

LOL. ok I know if it's retarded but oh well, just wanna blog about it. wanted to sketch it out but I kinda.. haven't got the patience or art-cells in me to do it! *sobs* oh well, gotta go bathe!

JA MATA!